When it Rains

2/4/2013-2/5/2013

Here's the link to the spoken video if you'd rather watch it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IduI4OvSSq0

I’ve never been at such a lost for words

While writing a poem

They call it writer’s block

I call it the death of a best friend

 

I’ve been trying for hours

To sort through my thoughts

And figure out what to say

 

But the truth is

There’s too much to say

And there's not enough to say

 

My most recent memory

You texted me and said you weren’t sure

If you wanted to go on the trip this weekend

Your other friends bailed so you were nervous

 

I told you I’d take you under my wing

Show you the ropes

So with a smile

You said you’d go

 

After it was over

You ran up to me

With that silly excited sprint of yours

And threw your arms around me

 

I hugged you back and said

I love you

A short and simple goodbye

Because I was expecting to see you in two days

Instead I woke up with tears running down my face

 

I’ll never forget the moment I got the news

A thousand bricks dropped on my chest leaving me lifeless

I was shaking uncontrollably

Shivering like I was freezing

While in reality

The only thing frozen was my emotion

And then it melted

I haven’t cried like that in years

But you are worth every single tear

I logged onto Instagram

Saw the picture she posted

“Rest in peace Morgan,” it read

This isn’t happening

Not a chance

I logged onto Facebook

And with over a hundred posts about you

I fell into a state of disbelief

I didn’t believe it

I couldn’t

I wouldn’t

I called you and it went to your voicemail

Immediately I hung up because it hurt too much

To hear your voice

I told myself it wasn’t true

So I called you again

Nobody will ever hear that crying

Begging your recording to tell me you’re okay

Or the last time I was able to say

I love you

 

It started to sink in

I punched that wall

NO!

I screamed

I didn’t just punch that wall with my fist

But with every fiber in my being I hit it

And that’s when the tears began to stream

Why is this happening?

 

Five calls

Twenty-six text messages

Is it true?

I wish it wasn’t

You were joking when you said

She’s gone, right Matt?

I wish I was

 

A dream

Gloomy

Hazy

Is this reality?

I wish you were beside me

 

I close my eyes and you’re there

 

I will not forget your touch

I will not forget your love

I see your smile in the trees

I see you in the clouds and my dreams

 

When it rains tears

Your laughter rings in my ears

 

I will not forget

 

Your smile lit up the darkest room

Your laughter transformed my life

Your silliness washed away all gloom

Your tender spirit gave me strength

To throw away that knife

 

You literally changed the world with every step you took

Every time you placed your foot someplace new

 

A servant’s heart

Gifted like David with his harp

You could soothe souls

Simply by being yourself

 

A love unheard of

You poured out on everyone so freely

 

I’m going to miss that love dearly

Really I’ll just miss the feeling

Because your love was so much greater

Than a simple emotion

Your love was a life style

That will eternally be expressed

Through those you blessed

 

I remember when we first talked about poetry

We were sitting in those rocking chairs

Just you and me

For some reason I mentioned

That I just wrote a poem

And you leapt out of your chair

With that ever shining smile exploding

“I wrote a poem once! Wanna see it?

You can’t tell anyone though

Because you’re the first I’ve shown.”

Of course,

I said

I was stoked to see it

 

It was about your dad

And his tragic death

I saw the pain that you buried so deep

It caused me to tear up

So you asked me if I’d write a happy one

You asked me to write a poem about you

But you said a song would work too

 

It’s ironic isn’t it?

I read a poem about your dad’s death

And when I finally wrote one about you

It was because you had died too

 

I’m sorry that I never wrote that happy poem

This is the best I could do

At least it’s about you

This is your song

This is your poem

So here’s to Morgan Helman

My best friend

 

Author's Note

It was written to be spoken. So be mindful of that while reviewing. Check out the video if you want.

Reviews

[nosyboraha]

I can't stop listening and reading it. I also lost someone few months ago. I'm so sorry. I hope you feel better.

[Kupendwa]

I'm glad you appreciate it. Over time, it's getting easier. Thank you!

[Maya]

Im so sorry, I wish more than anything right now i wasnt reading this and she were still alive. I hope you feel better soon. I know it sounds stupid but try not to feel too down im sure shes watching over you and doesnt want to see you sad

[Kupendwa]

Thank you Maya. I'm keeping my head up. It's been almost a month now.

[Nathan Mann]

I'm kinda leaking from my face...
I'm really sorry for your loss, Matt.

[Kupendwa]

It's alright man. It's just a part of life. Thank you though.