Lost

The first poem I ever wrote intentionally. 5/7/2012.

I hide the brokenness

Inside of me,

I bury it so deeply,

That even I start to believe.

 

I start to believe

That nothing really is wrong,

That everything really is okay.

 

But then it comes out of me,

So secretly it escapes.

 

And the world falls apart.

It all begins to burn,

All that I loved so dearly,

It starts to leave.

It’s all gone,

Even my memory.

I feel so lost, alone, and afraid.

 

I am the only one on this earth.

Everyone, everything else melts away.

 

The sun itself begins to fade.

And then it’s gone.

It’s gone,

All of it.

It’s all gone.

 

The sun has disappeared,

I am left alone in this place.

I am lost in utter darkness.

 

There is no light to be seen,

Only helplessness remains.

I am all that’s left in this pain,

 

Then a voice comes from the darkness.

 

It tells me what I am to do.

I must find love and hope.

I must find the truth.

I must find a needle,

In the haystack of this world.

 

Is it at the bottom,

Of the deepest sea,

The fields of green,

Or the highest mountaintop?

How am I to know!?

 

It’s all darkness,

I can’t see.

I can’t go on,

One more step.

I can’t go on,

One more day.

 

I need help,

Oh, I am so afraid.

 

I cannot move anymore.

I am trapped,

Inside my own skin.

I have fallen,

Into a pit of darkness.

 

I am overwhelmed with pain.

 

If I am to be overwhelmed,

Can’t it be with something real?

Please overwhelm me….

 

My last cry for mercy,

I need a hand to hold,

I need someone stronger than me.

I don’t care,

I just need somebody.

 

I need somebody,

To walk me through this,

And tell me it’ll be okay

 

Because without that,

I can’t go on one more day.

I will die before the morning.

I will taste death before dawn.

I can’t live to see the sun.

 

I know they say,

Comfort comes in the morning,

But if you are almighty,

Please bring it in the night.

 

Because I need it now!

 

Abba,

I just want to see your face.

I want to feel your embrace.

I want to walk with you.

I want to talk with you.

 

I don’t want to pray

To the clouds,

I need to know

There is someone beyond them.

 

I don’t want to sing to a wall.

Or just read some book.

I want to sing to your face.

And speak to the man

From behind the pages.

 

Is this all a fairytale?

Or are you really there?

Is it so wrong,

That I want to know you are there?

 

Wrap your arms around me,

And squeeze me tightly.

Squeeze me so tight,

That I can barely breathe.

 

I need to know,

That you love me,

And that you care.

God, I just need to know you’re there.

Reviews

[Lily Victoria]

Through every pain and sorrow felt in this life, God has His caring, loving arms embracing YOU with all He has to offer! "My child, I'm here even though the your vision's not clear." He's not forsaken you and He never will. Even though we feel like he's not there and not responding to our desperate cry for help, there will be come a time to reveal. Everyone says "There's a reason for everything", and I can honestly say that's true. I've gone through pain all my life and I know, with confidence, that it made me a stronger person. God is equipping you through these devastating attacks that you've felt. Walk in that power! Thank you for sharing Matt:)

[Fish]

This is utterly beautiful. Deep, heartfelt, hopeful. I know what you mean about really wanting to know whether or not God is actually looking out for us...
Yet another incredible poem. Your poems are so sad but happy at the same time.

[Kupendwa]

Gahhh you're so kind. Thank you. I think a lot of us know that longing.

This was the first poem I ever wrote! I'm glad you like it!

[Fish]

Your first one?!?!?! O.O *dies
This is absolutely amazing for being your first one!
You have some serious natural talent :D

[Kupendwa]

Yeah it was my first! Thank you so much Fish :)

[Fish]

you're welcome ^.^

[falling_toxic_rain]

A strong call and need for someone. Sometimes-at times-being the person you.need is the best.
As the poem moves down I can feel how you planned this.
Nice write.

[Kupendwa]

Maybe that's true. But how does one be the person they need? I actually didn't plan it.. I never reedited it, it was a one time write. My mind must have planned it a bit. Thank you tons!

[falling_toxic_rain]

I guess that's something we need to figure out. :/
Ohhp. Well okay.
You're welcome