The Secret

A Poem by Kupendwa

12/27/2012.

A few minutes ago my mind was much less blown than it is now.

We sat around the table, played risk, and ate McChickens.

But then as the craziness settled,

My dad said there was something we needed to discuss.

I thought he was gonna say I was slacking

And need to clean the house more often.

But then in an instant I saw this was much more serious.

He pulled up a chair,

Faced his kids,

And did everything he could to hold back the tears.

Our eyes only met for a spilt second.

But before he broke the gaze

I saw insecurity and pain.

I saw more brokenness
In my father than ever before.

As he tried to speak

It seemed like the necessary words

Had not yet been created.

He was unable to hold back the tears.

They decided to drip slowly.

He pressed his palms against his chest

As if he was trying to force out his last breath.

I swore in that moment he was having a heart attack.

But it wasn't a heart attack,

Just unending fear bottled up inside.

He started by saying,

"You have been walking on eggshells your entire life.

Everyone knows except you, my children.

There is another,

Your big brother."

When he was 18, he had a girlfriend.

Because of her, he's no longer a virgin.

I have always believed

That my mother was the first.

But my brother, Justin, is proof that I was deceived.

After he was born,

It was decided that

My Dad wouldn't be allowed to see him.

The mother banished the father

And left the son fatherless.

She packed up and moved away.

My dad wasn't able to speak to them ever again.

Now that he's an adult,

He may be able to reach out to him.

I might have a big brother again.

My dad was afraid that this would

Somehow make me hate him.

He was overwhelmed with joy

When I said I absolutely forgave him.

Once he got those words out,

I almost saw the chains fall.

I watched him become free.

He was released.

This boy is twenty-three.

I didn't even know he existed,

And I'm not sure if he knows of me.

I wonder what he's like.

Does he smile often?

I wonder if he'd like me.

Is he happy?

© 2013 Kupendwa

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register

Reviews

Radacach

wow so deep! you are so inspirational and your poems are always so deep and touching! Your father is such an amazing guy! im so glad you forgave him! please keep writing poetry and being my best friend!!

Posted 12 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

12 Years Ago

Oh thank you pal!(:

Fish

My.. Your life certainly seems interesting. This is yet another beautiful poem that is well written. At this point I'm not sure If it's the words, or the story told that i find so amazing...