Broken Stars

 

 

I close my eyes and drink of the dark river of the sky

 

All my questions, hopes, and dreams, are drifting now

 

Surrendering on a lonely mountaintop, resting, gazing up

 

I see the cosmos, the immensity of time, space, love, and loss

 

Breathing, tired, I exhale the frosted memories

Broken stars are falling out of the sky

 

Filtering through the bridge of the galaxy

 

Gentle as snowflakes, down to this earth

 

Falling on me like tears, brilliant diamond droplets

 

I want to sleep, but how can I forget this pain?

 

There is an absence of the ocean, the waters I loved

 

Under my eyes my tears reflect the night like quicksilver

 

Hours, days, years, lifetimes, wheeling above

 

 

Little by little I become a transparent memory

 

Unable to hold on to find the morning

 

The wind carries away the embers of my dreams

 

The last sparkling dust of my body drifts away

 

To join unnamed constellations

 

Never to be gathered up again

 

Reviews

[brian]

One suggestion..the last line: "Gone forever."
Otherwise, I really enjoyed reading this piece, and I like how you kept the font small, as it gave the feel of little fragments of stars getting smaller and smaller, until they became one with the nighttime sky. It was a really whimsical feel, and relaxing. I enjoyed it. (=

[Kuandio]

Thank u Brian, and it does seem to read better with that suggestion

[brian]

You're very welcome. I'm glad I could help. (=

[Awakened Rose]

So absolutely beautiful :) it took me to a beautiful starry night. I felt as if I were looking up at the sky reading this poem. Lovely, I enjoyed this very much. Thank you for sharing :)

[Kuandio]

Thank you kindly for your review. Even though it was an incredibly depressing moment this poem came to life in, I'm glad you saw something of beauty in it

[Nikki]

I adored the imaginary here. Very good work. :)

[Kuandio]

many thanks for taking a look

[Nikki]

:) You are welcome. :)

[Tara Pi Noi]

I close my eyes - drink the dark sky river
All my questions, hopes, and dreams, are drifting now .../ ...

Nice :-)

[ayesha gupta]

nicely penned. every line is so perfect. choice of words is brilliant.
thanks for sharing this amazing poem.

[Kuandio]

Thanks. It's maybe the shortest poem I ever wrote. Sometimes less is more

[ayesha gupta]

yep. sometimes few words make sense more than the whole story. :-)
read your profile, you write stories..thats awesome.

[KWP]

.... ah and to flow on ... great words here ... I receive much form each line ... it is like I am being absorbed, bit by little bit .. well done xx

[Kuandio]

thank you so much for stopping by in my little corner of the writing world!

[Angad Waraich]

The depth and imagery of this piece is brilliant.
A sad piece that captivated me with its uniqueness.
Well done.

Thank you for sharing.
-Angad

[Kuandio]

thank you kind sir! Yes, it's sad, existentially I was feeling pretty awful when I wrote this

[Angad Waraich]

You're most welcome.

[Melanie Langlois]

Wow. Deep. I really like that. Normally I don't read other people's poetry because it doesn't always make sense to me. But this spoke volumes to me. I loved it. Really. Loved. It.

[Kuandio]

Thanks a lot for looking at it. The words kind of came out of nowhere while I was feeling kind of awful

[Melanie Langlois]

It happens. That is usually when we do our best writing.