A little longer

I always wanted to go into the military. I know it's for me. I just don't think I'll make it that long. You see, I never really enjoyed living. It was just better than living behind all my friends. I'm starting to question if I have any friends left. Outside of school that it. I think that when I join, I will have more friends. Hopefully. Someone once told me that, envy one kills them self once in their life. Maybe not actually die, but think about dying. Some nights I stay up thinking about all the things I've done wrong in my life and try to think of ways I could have done them better, maybe then I wouldn't be so sad all the time. Maybe if I had friends and an ambition and someone to care about me, I'd stay around a little while longer.
Just maybe a little longer.