The Weight of a Smile

Most times I hide away my true emotions in order to protect myself from others caring too much. I believe it may be of fear of actually fitting in. having friends carry with it great responsibilities.

The Weight of a Smile

Another sleepless night

My circadian cycle of empty thoughts

Hibernating on vital ambitions

Mindful insights self indulge

 

I lay dormant in full awareness

Life filled with surreal yearnings

 Shredded by the teeth of my own capacity

Full torque, while remaining static

 

Repressive depression contracts my facial nerves

Overturning the gravitational pull of my aspect

Falsifying the objective persona

Coercing your desire to question

 

Solitary by choice

Personal connections to subjectify emotions

Transient delight parading through

Rapid euphoria, prolonged despair

 

Repetitively I bring about

This intense feeling of self-doubt

Impersonating what I wish others to see

There will come a day when I’ll be free

 

Transmitters unable to reach the synapse

No nerve impulse, brings my collapse

I feel the energy burning within

 

I must endure

I must progress

 

To alter your thoughts

You must revolutionize your perspective

 

A smile weighs less than a frown 

Reviews

[Terpsichore]

What lies beneath the mask is the real us. But we conform, (mostly,) as we must. It's the price of being part of the herd.

Keep smiling. T

[Trace]

I really like this and enjoyed reading it twice.

Trace

[ksscampos]

thank you.. glad you enjoyed

[MoriartyMesa]

Solitary by choice

Personal connections to subjectify emotions

Transient delight parading through

Rapid euphoria, prolonged despair




Out of everything that stuck out like a fire fly in the woods. The choice of words and the extent of thought with a nice small twist, is very interesting.

[ksscampos]

Thanks for reading. And thanks for a feedback.

[TheLostMind]

April sent me here and I am glad she did. This is actually a fantastic write.. I loved the clever use of paradoxes.. You took me back to my high school physics and zoology classes. :P . I think a lot of people will be able to relate to this.
This is a really powerful poem. From what I have read, I think you are stuck. On one side is your urge to be, well yourself. Get on with your life as you would like to. On the other side is a mere skeleton living a boringly monotonous life because that is what the society expects from you. You are actually imploding. You want to break free of these shackles that bind you to mundane things. But you are afraid that the society will judge you. You are afraid of being yourself in front of your friends because you think they will try to correct / help you.
To alter your thoughts
You must revolutionize your perspective - I agree. Only when you change your perspective radically, you can alter your thoughts.

I understand why you hide. You are afraid of people trying to help you turn into something you don't want to be. If your friends understand you, they will not judge you. You cannot hide your emotions forever. You cannot pretend to be someone you are not. Sooner or later, you will have to accept who you really are.

Repetitively I bring about
This intense feeling of self-doubt

Solitude has its own advantages and disadvantages.
Solitude gives you time to think about your life. But it also paves the way to demons.... demons that could drive you insane. The reason you doubt yourself is because of solitude.
I loved the witty ending as well..

[ksscampos]

Thanks for reading and the feedback. We all struggle with our own shackles. We play in two stages in life, the private stage and the public stage. The public does not care about your private struggles, as soon as you play along with the norm of society. Thanks again

[TheLostMind]

You are welcome :)

[Einstein Noodle]

April sent me here .. and i always do what April says :)

seems this poem skirts the line between enigma and something concrete .. your closing lines bring things into a focus but the trail to them remains a bit obscure .. sometimes i post poems that are completely obscure but they are spontaneous and feel right .. i think well .. let the reader see what they may .. but it leaves people guessing and i am not sure that is fair .. but it leaves me satisfied at having "unloaded baggage" .. so i think fair is fair!
your fifth verse is your strongest for me .. the creative tension throughout is grinding .. very effective .. i have to pause on every line and ruminate over it a bit .. second reading was better for me ... i feel so much stress i may not be able to nap today ;) ..
over all just a powerful psycho emotive poem
love the ending! always easier to smile :)))
E.

[ksscampos]

My favorite part of writing is to see where the reader will take it. And I appreciate when the audience grasps my abstract writing. Thanks again

[Rene Salinas]

I was invited to come !

What seems to be like an unsettling picture. Yet it is expressed with soft words which makes me wonder if there isn't a certain amount of acceptance imbued throughout. As I read, it gives me the impression that some of the words might be describing "the anatomy of a condition", as in pathological but I remain unsure, if that indeed is the desire or just the level of intensity of the emotions. It could also be representative of the moment of "dark night" if indeed the allusion fits here.

It is an intriguing ride and very intimate.

I struggled on a personal level with "I must endure" & "I must progress" as that would indicate a brief moment of seclusion from the environment and a view onto a "goal" or "north" or a moment when conciousness was regained. Generally and pending on the setting that the writing was meant, those moments are rare, or not self - developed but given.

In any case that was just my own thing and I more than enjoyed the writing. Grateful too for having been brought here.

Thank You.

[ksscampos]

Thanks for reading, and I'm glad we could connect through this personal piece

[Vanesa Markovic]

April brought me to you work and I'm glad she did!
A very well written piece.
When the black dog grabs a hold of the soul, it's hard to shake him off.
I know how necessary masks become in that kind of existence.
Really great work, well done!
-VM

[ksscampos]

We all have to shake off the black dog.. but sometime it's so overpowering..

[AprilRN1210]

I absolutely LOVE everything about this... from the descriptive synopsis, to the title, the flow, the phrasing, and definitely the ending.. POWERFUL.. I can say that I relate to many lines within this piece and will definitely be sharing this with a few friends..

"to alter your thoughts/you must revolutionize your perspective".. wow.. makes me wish I had thought of it.. couldn't agree more..

sometimes, it is a choice.. amazing writing my friend.. new favorite of yours and going into my library!..

[Jamie]

powerful write and such a good read!

[wordman]

wow,this is a powerful write,i think many can relate