Chapter Three: Not a Friend in a World of Clicks

Manchester was the second new place, and it was terrible. This world was full of clicks, something I’d never encountered before. There were populars, jocks, smarts, and weirdoes. I didn’t know where I fit in, but when I was forced to restart a second time I actually put forth an effort. I had learned from observance how to act just like one of the girls in Napoleon, so when we hit Manchester I was ready. My simple act was more than enough to fool the fifth grade and it only got better as the years went on, making me fade into the background where I wanted to be.

                But even my false girl act wasn’t enough to make me fully fit in. I was an oddity, a fifth grader who read three or four books a week and retained every word of it. I befriended the teachers long before I knew any of the students. The closest friend I had was the librarian, and most of my free time was spent roaming the pretty shelves full of books.

                Most of my fifth grade year was spent alone, but sixth grade picked up. It was browsing those false halls that I met one of the closest friends I would ever make in Manchester. Her name was Melanie, and she was perfect. Melanie was gorgeous, with dark hair that fell stick straight over her shoulders and these big brown eyes that demanded to be looked at. She was skinny and sweet, often ignored because like me, she took more comfort in books than actual human interaction. When I first found her she was curled up in the aisle, leaning against a shelf and smiling at a book open in her lap. It looked like a comic book to me, and she leafed through the pages backwards.

                “How can you read it the wrong way?” It was the first words that led to a chance encounter that would change my outlook on middle school life. She gave me an odd look and explained that it was manga, and she was in fact reading it in the proper direction. My interest was piqued and I sat beside her, reading over her shoulder. She didn’t seem to mind and in fact started over so I could see what had happened.

                The next day she came in and found me at the same time, a small stack of manga with her. I can’t recall what that first one was that I read, but they were all amazing. I read all kinds of manga, from love stories, to robo-cops and even a demon-angel romance that made me cry. There were stories of magic tarot cards and ones about sailor soldiers. I read them all under Melanie’s kind guidance.

                I came out of my shell a little bit, only for her though. No one else had ever made me feel so accepted. No one had really wanted to reach out to me in that way. I was talked to, but never truly a part of any group. Melanie and I made a great pair and life started looking up for the lonely new girls.

                We started to do almost everything together. We ate lunch, wandered the halls, and rode the bus together. Occasionally I’d go over to her place to sit around the basement and watch Sailor Moon in Japanese while eating chocolate frosting out of a jar. Then we’d crank up the music until the floor shook and run in circles for hours. Life as a middle schooler was amazing  because I wasn’t alone.

                Back then I didn’t know that I would lose Melanie, just like I would lose every other good friend I ever had. It would become my curse to be separated from everyone I got too close to. It wasn’t like I tried to get rid of them. I had lost my boys from Sunfield because of a move. The others would leave for their own reasons, and in time, I would become alone.

                But I didn’t know any of that in sixth grade. For a while I was truly happy, leaning on my new best friend and making it through school one day at a time. I survived Manchester because I had a brown haired beauty to protect me….another reoccurring theme in my life now that I look back. It was the brown haired loners that I loved the most, and whether they meant to or not, they would always be the ones to hurt me the most.