Chapter One: I Used to be a Boy

Chapter One: I used to be a Boy

 

As a child I lived with my single mother, sister, and two brothers, mom had divorced my father when I was about seven or so. When she was with my father we were moving from apartment to apartment. Then afterwards we got a habitat house built for us. Our neighbor was a friendly gay man with amazing gardens and we had a swing set in the backyard. We had one of those pools with the blow up ring that made it rise and stand up all by itself too. Our church did what they could to help my mother, including sponsoring one very magical Christmas by purchasing everything that my three siblings and I had put on our lists.

 

We lived in Sunfield, a tiny town dominated by sunflower fields and good folks. It was one of those places where everyone knows everyone else’s business, the good and bad. We all loved each other and supported each other. I had few friends but hundreds of acquaintances, that’s the way it works in a small town. I spent my time at the library or with friends at their houses. It was a simple time when it was okay for girls and boys to have sleepovers together and nobody accused you of dating your best friend because you liked to hold hands.

 

But elementary school was a time of oddities for me. I was an awkward child in a way. A pretty child too maybe. I’m not sure what you’d call me. I wasn’t a girly girl, but I wasn’t one of those butch tom-boys either. I loved animals and ribbons, but I also liked to get dirty in the sand and mud of the playground. It was impossible to define me because I was a nut. I was the crazy kid that all the others seemed to be scared of sometimes. I was popular with older kids because I was brave. I was popular with younger kids because I was kind. But then again, all elementary kids think they’re popular so this very well could have been a figment of my childish imagination.  

 

I wore pigtails and Mickey Mouse suspenders with a Minnie Mouse shirt. That was one of my favorite and most adorable outfits. Pigtails were, and still are, one of my signature hair styles and I pull them off well. For a while I was missing a front tooth. I had a sort of chubby face but the rest of me was pretty thin. I didn’t get lanky until middle school. I always tried to make a friend everywhere I went, so I was close with most of my teachers, the playground aides, and the lunch ladies. Yeah…I was one of those dorky kids.

 

My closest girl friend was in the special needs program so I only saw her on weekends. When I did see her we stayed up all hours of the night watching old Rudolph movies and jumping on her air mattress until it popped. By the time we were in fourth grade that air mattress had about forty different patches on it. She was special, and after I moved my fourth grade year I have no idea what happened to her. I don’t remember how or why we were friends. But I know we were great friends.

 

The kids I hung out with on the playground were different. I had three guy friends, and two off and on girl friends. The girls were Lee-Anne and Chelsea. I say off and on because I only really spent time with them when we had dance classes together or they were fighting and needed a go between. That’s right, I was a go between for elementary school drama. I’m sure you all remember that kid. If you and a friend were mad at each other you’d find a third friend to run back and forth delivering messages. Then eventually the go between would get tired of it and walk off, so you would be forced to talk to your friend and everything became instantly better. I wish all drama could be like elementary school drama.

 

It was always fun because when they were fighting I got to hang out with Lee Anne. We would swing on the swings and make crowns and rings out of dandelions while singing the chorus of American Pie. It was the only part of the song we knew and it had no meaning to us, it just sounded pretty when we sang it. I miss those days, when you had no idea what a song was about. You could be singing about killing everyone and it was ok because you thought the song was pretty. It was simple back then.

 

Three guys were my best friends. Ian, Damien, and Andy. I still talk to Ian and Damien every once in a while. They’re some of the best people I know. Ian’s a theater kid now, a fate I was more than willing to predict for him. He’s fun and rambunctious, with a go get em attitude that makes him easy to love. Did I mention I was crushing on Ian until I turned fourteen? No? Well I did now. After I left that little town I couldn’t stop my crush. I even carried a little picture of him in a heart shaped frame in my backpack. I was hooked until somebody else walked into my life, but that’s for another chapter.

 

Damien was a gamer, or better yet, a Diablo nerd. Dark hair and a creepy face that made you believe he was the kid form the omen. But that’s all right, because as young as we were we’d never seen the omen so we weren’t scared of him. He’s more mature now, but hasn’t changed much otherwise. He was a troubled kid, and still has plenty of trouble in his life, but as the years go by it gets better. It was harder to stay in contact with him because he was always bouncing around multiple houses, but now that facebook has developed I always have a way.

 

I don’t remember much about Andy. I don’t talk to him anymore and I feel like he always just faded into the background. I do know that my sister was always crushing on him. (Not as hard as I was for Ian, but close.) I also remember that he returned the feelings until I scolded him and told him who she was. He decided no sister of mine was worth dating.

 

The four of us made an odd little group that we affectionately called “The Gang.” That school playground became our adventure and we used it to its fullest. Some days we were all Pokémon, with one of the boys taking the role as a trainer that had to catch us all. (See what I did there, yeah you do.) Other days it was batman, with me as the ever adorable Babydoll in full out pigtails while the boys took their chosen parts to try to stop me from being evil. For those that don’t remember this cute little side character here she is.

 

 

 

 

 

But more often than not it was a game of our own invention. It was “creator.” It’s a game of creativity (In case you didn’t get that from the name) where you could be anything, any person, TV character, animal or made up thing you wanted. The boys always changed their characters, but I stayed pretty consistent. I was a fox, a vixen if we want to get technical, named Tornado. But I wouldn’t be just any fox named Tornado, I could create legit tornados. Or at least I could in the game. Add that to the fact that I had a rare infection that made me go crazy and bite everyone on the full moon (kind of like a werewolf I guess…wow we were odd kids) and you had my personality in a nutshell.

 

I remember getting hurt a lot too. We were rough with each other like all kids are and it always ended with the soft little girl being wounded. I remember one time that I was crying my eyes out after scraping up my knee. I don’t know how I did it, but I know that Ian helped take me to the playground aid so she could fix it. Rather than tell her what actually happened Ian carefully explained that I had been attacked by a giant Swedish meatball. I laughed so hard that I forgot all about the pain I had been feeling just seconds before.

 

I went home with a lot of bruises and band aids. My mother was always freaking out about what I’d done this time. I shrugged it off. I was a kid, living wild and free. No amount of purpled skin or cuts could slow me down!

 

The games were what tied us to each other, taking us to our own world off that playground. We weren’t just another group of kids, we were adventurers, villains, heroes, Pokémon…you name it and we could be it. I grew up on that playground, with those boys all around me. I learned that it was ok to spit in the grass and jump off the swings. I was raised believing that I was just another boy. Scrapes and cuts were the most of my worries and the little bit of blood they causes was just part of the game.

 

But I learned valuable lessons from those boys too. Ian taught me how laugh when I was hurting, and it’s a skill I still use today. Damien made me realize that life isn’t so bad, it can always be worse. Those boys gave me a foundation upon which I could build the rest of my life. And even though I left that school halfway through fourth grade, I carried those lessons with me and still cherish them today.

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[Krisen Lison]

The pic of baby doll that isn't in the text is the pic for the chapter. Sorry about that guys.