Rayn

Sometimes you can't stop life from tearing you apart.

Her name was Rayn and I couldn’t think of anything more ironic than that. Mainly because it rained on that girl named Rayn every day. Her life was one giant rain storm. But she never seemed to mind it, at least, not at first.

I met her in fourth grade when she moved to my tiny little town. She was quiet and spent most of her time alone. Rayn was alone for almost a month before I went to talk to her.

“Hi, I’m Lynn.” I said, walking up to her at lunch. I smiled, trying to get her to smile back at me.

She looked up at me with calm green eyes. “I’m Rayn.” She answered. “Have you come to insult me to?” there was a pain in those green eyes far too deep for any forth grader.

“Why would I do that?” I questioned.

“Because everyone else does.” She replied. “They laugh at my name.”

“Well I think you have the coolest name ever.” I sat next to her at the table. She had no lunch, she never did. “Want some of my sandwich?” I offered, opening my brown paper bag.

A look of shock spread across her face. “Why would you be willing to share with me?” she asked.

“You look hungry.” I tore the turkey sandwich in half and held part our to her.

Rayn took it slowly and looked at it a moment. “Thank you.” She smiled but the joy didn’t reach her eyes. She bit into the bread and devoured the sandwich quickly.

“My mom packs me too much anyway.” I said. “Why doesn’t you mom make you lunch?”

“She hung herself.” Rayn said bluntly. “That’s why I live with Daddy now.” There were no tears in her eyes, just that deep, unending pain.

I almost choked on my chips. “I’m so sorry Rayn.”

“Don’t be, she did it because of me not you.” She rose to her feet and started to walk away. “She hated me just like everyone else does.”

“I don’t hate you.” I called.

“That’s only because you don’t know me yet.” She left the lunch room alone.

After something like that most people would have left her alone. But I wanted to help Rayn. She needed someone, anyone, to help her fix herself. I wanted to be that someone.

I tried every day at first, then only once a week as Rayn grew more distant. She kept saying that I’d hate her. but I never gave up, I was right there waiting for Rayn. I lost all of my friends because they didn’t understand. I waited for two years and it was in sixth grade that Rayn opened up.

She came to school wearing a scarf even though it was almost seventy outside. We had been in school for two weeks now and I had once again been trying to reach her.

“Do you really want me Lynn?” Rayn asked, approaching my locker.

“What do you mean?” I questioned.

“Do you want all my problems? Do you want my pain? Do you want my friendship?” Rayn clarified. “Do you want me?”

“I’ve always wanted to help you.” I answered. That day Rayn allowed me to take her in. But she didn’t give me her pain, not yet at least.

She finally dropped it on me in our freshman year of high school. Rayn and I were loners, we didn’t talk much but we were best friends. I was all she had, she was all I had. We were made fun of. Some thought we were dating. Others thought we wanted to date but wouldn’t admit it. In truth we were normal girls, nothing more than friends.

Rayn took the insults and names without reacting. Nothing seemed to bother her until one Junior said the wrong thing.

“I bet your mother killed herself to get rid of you!” he shouted, throwing a wad of paper at my best friend.

Rayn stood up, her green eyes locking on his. “At least she wasn’t’ a w***e like your mother.” She said back. “Do you even know who your father is?”

“You little b***h.” He stormed toward her, arms raised.

Rayn turned quickly and bolted down the hall. She grabbed my hand, dragging me with her. We ran from him and he followed until Rayn pushed into the girl’s bathroom.

Once inside she collapsed in the corner by the garbage can and began to cry. It was the first time I had seen Rayn express her pain. Her black hair fell in front of her face in glistening waves. I sat beside her and hugged her tightly.

“Don’t worry about it Rayn.” I muttered softly.

“He’s right.” She bawled. “She didn’t want me.”

“But you have your dad now.” I whispered. “He wants you right?”

“He wants my body!” she cried. She yanked off the turtleneck she had been wearing and tossed it across the room. “Look at me Lynn, just look at me.”

She was covered in bruises. They were all across her stomach and chest. A set of finger-shaped bruises stood out on her neck. They were all purple and yellow, some brand new, some a few days old. A scar ran down her side and I could tell it hadn’t been there for very long. “Rayn.” I gasped “Why haven’t you told anyone?”

“There is no one I can tell.” She cried.

“What about the police?” I questioned. “They can make it stop!”

“No they can’t.” she shook her head. “No one can.”

“Rayn, we have to tell someone.” I said. “A teacher, a cop, anyone.”

“You can’t tell anyone Lynn.” She said angrily. “Please, I’m trusting you.”

“But Rayn.” I argued.

“Promise me that you won’t tell a soul.” She ordered. “Promise me Lynn.”

“I promise Rayn.” I said reluctantly. I stood up and walked over to where the turtleneck had landed. “Here.” I held it out to her.

She walked over and took it gratefully. “I love you Lynn.” She hugged me tight and then pulled the shirt back on.

“I love you too Rayn.” We left the bathroom in silence. I watched her close all year and noticed thing I’d never seen before. She grew thinner and weaker each day from lack of proper nutrition. New bruises and cuts appeared every day.

I was a month before the end of school that the worst change occurred. Her body remained horribly thin but her middle began to enlarge. It didn’t take long to figure out that my best friend was pregnant with her father’s child.

Summer came and Rayn didn’t come over like she used to. My house had always been a safe place for her, and she had spent nearly every day there in summer’s past. But she was absent this summer. I knew exactly where her house was, though I had never been inside. In a split decision I walked the two miles to her street, wanting to make sure she was okay.

When I reached the small house the front door was open wide. There was a lot of yelling coming from inside. I stood on the porch and listened.

“Get these God-damned dishes done you b***h!” A man yelled angrily.

“I’m washing the windows first.” Rayn’s soft voice responded.

“I don’t care what you’re doing!” her dad yelled back. “These damn dishes ain’t gonna wash themselves!”

“Fine, I’ll get the dishes done.” Her voice cracked as if she was about to cry.

“You’ve been completely worthless ever since you got pregnant!” he screamed. “It’s about time you pulled your weight around here.”

“I do everything for you.” She shouted. “Even things I shouldn’t. Still you beat me and yell at me and hate me. I wish I had never been born.”

I heard her footsteps as she ran through the house and slammed her bedroom door. I ran around the house toward her window at the back. I was halfway there when the gun went off. “Rayn!” I screamed, bolting toward the window. It was open and I peered in, fearing the worst. Her door was locked and her father banged on it angrily. Rayn was in the middle of the floor, a gun in one limp hand. The side of her head was mangled and blood soaked the carpet.

“Rayn! Rayn!” I jumped in the window and fell to her side. “Rayn.” The door shook and her father yelled but I couldn’t hear what he said. I was lost and alone. I grabbed her hands and stroked her hair, unable to grasp the truth.

The door flew in and the man that caused this stood there glaring. I looked up at him, his face was distorted from behind the curtain of tears that filled my eyes. I bellowed a set of unintelligible syllables and charged at him. He stood frozen as I tackled him to the ground. He was stronger than I was though and with a single punch he sent me into darkness.

I woke up two days later in a hospital. He had beat me almost to death after knocking me out. By the next year he was in prison for rape and attempted murder. I am home and I now know this life is worthless.

I tell this story so people know the truth about what happened to my best friend. Also, to give some reason for what is going to happen to me. I’ll be there soon Rayn, don’t worry. I’m on my way and will fall just as you did.

Reviews

[Krisen Lison]

Thanks Matt! It was written when I was worried that I would lose a friend so it's loosely based on life and how I would react if my best friend were to go.

[...]

Wow, this is really dark and sad. I didn't expect Rayn to kill herself and it came as a shock to me. It's very very dark, and unsettling in a way. It's like life at it's worst. It's almost frightening and horrific in a way too. Good story though. Stories about death and despair are really appealing to me, so I hope you write more. :)

Thanks for reviewing my stories and subscribing too.