Drowning

"Depression is like drowning, but you can see everyone around you still breathing."

Drowning. She went through life as if she was always drowning.

            She was drowning in the lies her friends and family told her. “You’ll get better, just wait.” “They can help you.” “It’s not really that bad.” “We all love you very much” “We’ll always be here to support you.” “Everything is going to be ok, I promise.”

            She was drowning in the hardships she’d been forced to face. Her father walking out on her, and her mother giving up on raising her children. Forced to take care of both of her siblings for ten years. Forced to work three jobs and drop out of school so they could survive while her mother sat by and drank herself into oblivion. Forced to go through everything alone because no one wanted her around.

            She was drowning in the addictions she couldn’t get away from. Addicted to the pain that filled her heart. Addicted to the bit of the knife and the way her blood looked against her pale skin. Addicted to the feeling of an empty stomach and the way she got so thin so easily.

            She was always drowning, while everyone around you kept breathing like nothing was wrong. She had a permanent tightness in her chest as her heart repeatedly shattered. She moved as if underwater, slow and weak with every step. She tried everything to get herself back to normal. But normal wasn’t possible anymore. She was too deep, her feet almost the bottom, and no one could reach her to bring her back to the surface.

            The only choice left was to finally place her feet on the rocky floor and walk with the creatures that lived there. She could join them in a world of fantasy and beauty. A world where no one would lie to her and no one could lead her on only to leave her.

            The rope would be her connection to the surface so she could breathe, the chair the only thing standing between her and bliss. She closed her eyes, letting the water finally overtake her as she kicked it aside and finally became what she was meant to be all along.

           

Reviews

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death is the ultimate painkiller, I guess. i loved the metaphors in this. it's quite moving. I can relate to this girl. I wonder if it really will get better, or if giving up is the best option. who knows?