Let Me See Her

They used to be triplets, until a tragic accident left them as just a set of twins. Longing for their sister's company, the twins resort to a whole new game of pretend.

She stood up on her toes to see out the small window at the top of the door. She dragged her bed over to it early in the evening, just like every day. Her hands were clasped tightly to the window sill, pulling her up as much as she could. She could see the top of her sister’s head in the window across the hall, the other girl having an identical set up. She pulled one hand up to press it into the class, her sister matching the movement.

            The nine year olds had been here for a year, kept separate in the hopes that one of them would get better. Better from what she wasn’t really sure. She didn’t understand why her mother had sent them here. The institute was terrifying, full of doctors that poked and prodded at both girls, studying them like lab rats. To them it was a game, a set of brand new toys, and they were going to learn every little thing those toys could do.

            Footsteps down the hall made both girls dive down beneath the windows. She prayed they weren’t coming for her, anyone but her. The sound of a lock turning confirmed her fears. She quickly pushed her bed as close to the wall as she could and jumped onto it, barely settling in before the door swung open.

            “Good evening Clarissa, how have you been.” The dark haired doctor smiled at her.

            “I’m ok sir. I want to see Chrissa.” She chimed softly, her voice a sweet whisper. “Charlotte says that Chrissa misses me and it’s not very nice of you to separate us.” She reaches for a teddy bear almost as big as she is, pulling it into her lap. “Me and Charlotte want to play with her again.”

            “Who’s Charlotte, Clarissa? Is she a friend of yours?” The doctor settles onto the end of the bed and the girl recoils, curling into the corner against the wall.

            “She’s my sister.” Clarissa mutters, burying her face in the soft brown fur of her bear.

            “No, Chrissa is your sister.” He says it softly, soothing her as much as he can.

            Clarissa lets out a slight growling sound. “Chrissa and Charlotte are both my sisters.” She says it proudly, stating it as a fact.

            “Clarissa, Charlotte died when the three of you were four, isn’t that right?” he relayed the same message they all did. They tried to fool her, but she knew better. Charlotte was alive, and she came to visit daily.

            “You’re lying, I won’t fall for your tricks.” She spat, gritting her teeth at the doctor.

            “Do you know why you’re here Charlotte?” He asked, moving on with the knowledge that he wasn’t going to convince her, not today.

            “Because Mommy doesn’t want us anymore.” Clarissa hung her head. “She sent us away.”

            The doctor reached out to place a hand on hers but she jerked her arm back, denying him. “Your mother loves both of you very much, she’s worried about you. You girl’s are delusional; you see and believe things that aren’t real. Charlotte is just a figment of your imagination.”

            “No she’s not!” Clarissa jumped up to her feet on the bed, throwing the bear at him and making him jerk back to stand by the door. “Don’t you talk about Charlotte like that, she’s going to come back to see me later.”

            “She won’t be coming back Clarissa.” His voice is calm as he leaves the room, leaving her to her tantrum. She screams behind the closed door, yelling about her long dead sister.

*   *   *

She saw him enter her sister’s room and stood to watch what happened. She couldn’t’ see into the window, they were much too high, but after a few minutes she heard her sister yell. The words were too muffled by the walls, but the yelling meant that they had done something mean. She twisted her face in worry and got up as high as she could on her toes. The door to her sister’s room swung open and the doctor looked at her. She dove down, pushing her where it was supposed to be and moved to stand in the opposite corner.

The doctor came in and gave her that smile that reeked of cruelty. “Can I go see my sister?” she asked softly, clinging to the bear that matched Clarissa’s. They had been Christmas presents from their mother. “She sounds upset.”

            The doctor shuts the door and reaches for her in a comforting gesture. She jerks away just as her twin had, but she shudders in fear instead of anger. He sighs, pulling back his hand. “Your sister will be just fine.” He tells her, giving her a gentle smile.

            “No she won’t. Charlotte can help her but she needs me too.” Chrissa bites at her lip and hides her eyes behind rich ebony waves.

            “Charlotte won’t be there to help her, the other doctor’s will take care of it.”  He keeps his eyes locked on the small girl as he talks to her. “She’ll be just fine.”

            Chrissa looks up at him, staring deep into his eyes. “Charlotte did go to help her, she just left before you came in. Didn’t you see her in the hall?” She c***s her head to the side slightly, her teeth still dug into her lip.

            “Charlotte isn’t real Chrissa, you’ve been told that for a year.” He sits on the bed to make her feel more comfortable and she cowers to the opposite corner of the room, her bear clutched tight in her arms. “She died when you were little.”

            “Don’t be silly, Charlotte comes to see me every day.” Chrissa smiles as if he told a joke to her, rather than the somber news he’d delivered.

            “If she’s here every day how have I never noticed her? She’d have to check in as a visitor.” His voice was smooth, without any kind of real emotion behind it.

            “She doesn’t want you to find her. She thinks you’ll lock her up too.” Chrissa says the words slowly, and without the hostility her sister would have shown.

            “Your mind is playing tricks on you Chrissa, you need to stop feeding into your fantasies.” He stands, walking toward her. She ducks beneath his legs and climbs on the bed, the bear dragging behind her.

            “I don’t want to talk to you anymore!” she snaps, then immediately hides her face. “I talk about this enough with the man behind the desk. I don’t like it.” She wraps herself in the blanket she’s sitting on, making a cocoon to hide in.

            He tries to pull it away from her, gently tugging at the fabric. “Your family is worried about you Chrissa, you have to know that.”

            “Go away.” She squeals, pulling the blankets in tighter. She was receding into herself, shutting down and isolating herself from the world around her.

            He shakes his head and leaves the fearful girl to her own devices. Chrissa shivers in her blanket for a few moments before getting up and pushing her bed to the door again. Clarissa is there waiting for her and the stare across at each other for hours, just like every other night.

*   *   *

The doctor leaves Chrissa’s room and as expected he can see the top of Clarissa’s head in her small window. This behavior had occurred since they first arrived in the hospital. He wanted to help them and he was starting to believe that if he put them together he might make better progress. But the founder would never agree to such nonsense. Things had to be done his way and that meant every patient lived and was treated individually.

He walks the short hallway to the therapist that was treating the two girls. After looking through the window to ensure she was alone, he enters the office and other doctor greets him warmly. “How are my shared psychosis patients doing?” She asks, jumping right to the matter at hand.

            “Not well, the longer they stay here, the more lost in the fantasy they become.” He shakes his head in a defeated manner.

            “They still see the dead triplet then?” She jots something down in her notes, frowning.

            “Yes, Clarissa is beginning to get violent much faster, and Chrissa is isolating herself faster as well.” He comments, pausing to allow the other doctor to write it all down. “I’m just glad the only thing thrown at me today was the bear.”

            “Yes, better that than the book like last time.” She chuckled slightly. “Well we may not be able to save them. They’ve had these delusions for three years now; it might be too late to pull them out of it.”

            “I’d like to put them on a different medication, that could be the winning factor.” He tells her, looking to her for any kind of reaction.

            “You know as well as I they’re taking sugar pills, what would be the point in upping them?” she scoffs, treating him like a child. “It would just waste out stores.”

            “Then maybe I could put them both in the same room. If they had each other as company they wouldn’t be so dependent on the delusions. They could get better.” He suggests, settling into a chair in front of the desk.

            “That won’t be necessary.” The therapist responds, shifting the papers on her desk. “They are here to be studied, not cured.”

            “How can this be allowed to happen?” he questions, staring at her in a manner that suggests disgust. “The patients here are growing worse and worse by the day and all you all do is sit by and watch. They need real treatment, not this illusion. They aren’t objects to be studied, they are real people.”

            The therapist shakes her head and chuckles. “You new doctors are always the same.” She chides, looking directly at him. “They are insane, more animal than human. They are not like you and I, they cannot think, care or even understand themselves any longer. They would destroy themselves in the outside world. No one is really cured, no matter how much work is put into them. They would simply revert back to old ways when left alone. Here we can learn from them, see how the disorders progress and change throughout their lives. We can offer them a place where they are accepted and not ridiculed. We can protect them from themselves.”

            He gets up, turning toward the door. “I’m going to help those girls, whether I have permission or not. They are too young to deserve this treatment.” He opens the door and disappears through it, heading back to his own office. The poor man had no idea what he had done with the simple words.

She watches him go then picks up her phone and dials security. “Dr. Novicki has gone rouge, he needs to be placed in ward four as soon as possible. I want him sedated for the next twenty-four hours and put under video observation. His stay will be indefinite.” She said drying, hanging up as soon as the words left her mouth. It would be a shame to see the fresh face leave their ranks, but then again, he wasn’t going very far.