Chapter Eight: Princess for a Moment

          So much went wrong during my junior year, I just didn’t feel any of it until senior year kicked up. While I was constantly worried about Megan learning my dirty secret, she was hating on two of our closest friends. The first was Christian. She was a kind hearted girl who worked with horses and loved her family more than anything.  She had been bumped up to our class from the one below us because she was too smart for her own good. She and Megan had been friends for years and they always got along great.

          Then one day they didn’t anymore. Megan spent her time bashing the short girl. Christian became the enemy, and even though I still spoke to her in my classes, I believed every word Megan said. I don’t know the full story, not even now. I’ve never bothered to ask because I know it was hard on Christian. What I do know is that Megan made it sound like Christian betrayed her and then walked away. I fell for it of course, she was my best friend and I would follow her off a cliff if I had to.

          The second target was Austin. Austin had dated Megan for a while. He was going through a lot and couldn’t handle all of her drama plus his own home problems. He had gone away for the summer on a church trip. We all agreed it would be good for him, but Megan couldn’t handle being alone. She fell into a depression when he didn’t answer her calls and I got the fall back. Back then I saw Austin as the bad guy because Megan was so beat up about it. Looking back I know he just wasn’t ready for how serious Megan had made everything.

          Like the good little follower I was I stepped up to save her that summer. I went with her to her 4-H fair and slept at her house for a night. We didn’t sleep that day. She spilled her guts to me, told me how much she loved Austin and all about the life she wanted with him. It seemed like far too much planning for a young relationship but I took in all of it. When she broke down in tears I couldn’t handle it anymore and started crying to. That was my missed opportunity to tell her the truth. I could have told her about Dalton right then and there, to not have to worry about it anymore. But I didn’t tell her, instead I bottled it up and cried more.

          I turned on Austin in the same way she had. He became the enemy just like Christian and it was a war that only our side wanted to wage. It was a summer of midnight calls to cry to me and I just had to hold her hand as much as possible. She had lost a lot of the light that used to swim in her pretty eyes. Her entire figure had lost its glowing luster. My Megan had become a weak, empty shell of herself. She was cutting nearly every day and I blamed two of my close friends for the change. But it wasn’t their fault, Megan was destroying herself. I just hadn’t seen it yet.

          She came to my house one day and we had a photo shoot to make her happy. Half way through it I put her in a long black gown and a tiara. She held a little white rose and in that moment she looked like the girl she used to be before Christian and Austin. She looked just like a princess. Megan was my princess for a second at least. Then the picture snapped, the tiara came off and the lovely princess was gone. I wish I could have that side of her back. I don’t miss Megan, but I do miss my little brown haired princess that I got to have for only a moment.

          Her depression showed in its full when I made her sit on the windowsill. The sun was trailing in just right to catch her brown hair and make it glow. She was wearing jeans and one of my tank tops, her pretty doe’s eyes weak and downcast. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen in that photo, sitting there in her rawest form. Pure emotion flooded off of her and I felt like I had to change that.

          Even then I knew it wasn’t right to treat Austin and Christian the way we were. But seeing her like that, clearly falling apart right before my eyes, made it okay. I should have left her back then, should have never gotten involved in what was about it happen. But she was too sweet, and I was drawn to her like I would be to a wounded animal. I took it upon myself to help her and in the end I would be the one hurt.