My Heartbreak Experience

It was something I wrote because I couldn't stop thinking about it. It may not be the best story ever but it's what was in my head for the past five months.

            No one can really describe what exactly a heart break is can they? We all have our own experiences and versions that can be told about in many ways. Mine was pretty normal I think, if heartbreaks can be normal that is. I was so very in love with him and when I say him I mean Donovan. He was “the one” in my eyes, meaning the one to marry and have babies with. I saw him as my everything, the reason I got out of bed, why I went to school, why I went to work. My love for him was the strongest I’ve ever felt for someone.

            We first met when I was about thirteen, he was about fourteen, and it was on a bus for a seasonal job called detasseling. I would wake up at around four thirty every morning, get dressed in a pair of jeans and long sleeved t shirt. My cousins would lend me a sweatshirt because it was a little chilly in the morning. We would all get our water bottles and lunch packs together and walk for about six blocks to the town pool. The bus would arrive and we would all try to find seats, I wasn’t very known throughout the town so I had no one to sit with and I was very shy. Donovan was a bit chubby and no one really talked to him, so he offered me to sit with him. I did and we talked all the time, even in the corn fields. I grew to like him maybe even have a small crush, I knew it wasn’t love because I was younger and I wanted to be smart about things. We had our first kiss in one of the corn fields we worked on, the wind blowing the tops of the corn around, his lips were soft. At the end of the season we exchanged numbers and that’s when I never heard from him, I thought he moved away.

            Of course I had other boyfriends, Athens, Shawn, more guys I can’t name. I never really loved them, I thought I did but it was all in my head. It was the idea of being in love that appealed to me. I didn’t have a boyfriend when he asked to be my friend on Facebook. My heart stopped beating, my hands went cold. I sent the first message asking him how he has been and such. Again numbers were exchanged and we talked, he had a fiancé. I congratulated him and told him that I would the best friend that he could ever have. We grew feelings for each other again; I told him that we should stop talking because I didn’t want to hurt his fiancé. He made me promise to keep talking to him and I made the mistake of making that promise. He broke up with her and asked me to be his girlfriend, I wanted to give him to time to get over Ellen but it seemed like he was already over her. We talked on the phone as much as possible because he was out of state at the time; he’s in the Army National Guard. The day he came home is one to remember; it was November so it was chilly outside on top of that it was midnight. I was in boots and pajama pants, my hair was a mess, he wore his dress blues and he drove his dad’s truck. I couldn’t believe he was actually hugging me, he cupped my face in his hands and bent down to kiss me, it was bliss…his lips were still so soft. He was a lot taller than I remembered and he lost all that weight. I didn’t care, I got to hug him, kiss him, hold him, be in his arms, embrace that warm feeling he was giving me. We made love that night, it was clumsy but it was a night I could never forget. I told him I loved him and he told me he loved me, where did I go wrong?

            Our relationship was the best, I was still in high school so he would sometimes take me to school and he would pick me up from school to take me to work. There was so much sex, we couldn’t get enough, but we held back as much as we could. He held me all the time; I was never allowed to leave his sight he couldn’t leave mine. When I was sick he would take care of me, when I needed someone to talk to he was there for me, he was my everything. He would sing to me, our song was Tangled Up In You by Staind, the lyrics described our relationship. Finally we moved in together, it was going great. My brother was about to graduate and become a marine soon so my mother and I made arrangements for me to stay at her house for a week to watch the dog. A few weeks before this time I noticed a change in Donovan, he wouldn’t talk to me, he wouldn’t touch me, he wouldn’t even look at me. We went for a walk at one point, I tried to hold his hand and he pulled away from me. In that moment I felt like my heart was being stabbed over and over with a butter knife. When we got home we went to bed, he slept with his head at the foot of the bed and again he wouldn’t touch me, I cried because he was drifting away from me, he didn’t console me, he didn’t hold me. The next morning he took me to my mother’s house so I could watch the dog, before he left I tried to kiss him he pushed me away and gave me a kiss on my head, he stayed at our house that night so the next day I called him and asked him if he was coming over after work. He told me that he doesn’t know, and that he needed to talk to me. I told him that if he’s going to break up with me then just do it…so he did. The world stopped spinning, I couldn’t breathe, and my heart felt like it was being torn to shreds, I couldn’t walk. I remember calling my mother asking her if I could move back in, later that day Donovan came by with my stuff. I asked him to give me one last kiss before he left, he did but his lips were not soft anymore. I tried too hard to stop crying but I couldn’t, I still can’t from time to time. He left me for his best friends girlfriend, she stole him away from me.

            Heartbreaks are not easy; they take all the energy you have and expel it through tears. There are no other emotions besides betrayal. What was once your everything is now someone else’s everything, and your nothing. Some say that time heals all wounds; I guess some take longer than others. We will all go through a heartbreak, just remember we will have our first love and then we can find our true love.

Author's Note

Please ignore grammar and spelling errors, it was 3a.m when I wrote it so it might sound terrible.

Reviews

[A. Amos]

This is such a beautiful story and I can assure you millions will connect with you, many of us has been on the stage you were and trust me there is always a reason when your heartbreaks you truly value pure love and one day or another someone with big heart will come and love and care for you just the way you deserve. Respect and wish you all the happiness

[Krystall]

Thank you so much.

[A. Amos]

You're welcome

[Sam]

Your story really spoke to me...I can't explain how sorry I am that happened to you. At first it seemed like a dream...I know how you feel. A similar situation came to me. But my guy left for his best friend. I'm so sorry. Beautiful story, you're a very talented writer. Please don't give up hope. Hang in there if possible