A Poetry Collection of An Average Young Man - The Brief and Creative

Nonetheless meaningful, but shorter and more creative. Some of deepest feelings are expressed with just a few words.

'Maribel' (WITH Commentary)

Maribel

A Relinquished Woman

Maribel celebrates her birthday on Thursday.

She stopped keeping track of her age over twenty years ago;

Seven years ago, she wouldn’t be able to remember regardless.

In the last seven years, with every breath she took she exhaled more of her mind:

Her conscience, memory, values, believes.

She cannot remember her career she had irreversible passion towards ten years ago,

Though, at least she could forget her disorder.

She met Harold fourteen minutes ago.

Three minutes later, she had forgotten his name,

Seven minutes later, she had forgotten his face,

Ten minutes later, she had forgotten meeting him,

Fourteen minutes later, Harold was a stranger.

Maribel is losing her muscles, too.

A feeble reminder of the atrophy comes when a “gorgeous young lady” helps her from the bed in the morning.

What she had forgotten, though,

Is that gorgeous young lady has helped her from her bed every morning for the last six months.

What Maribel couldn’t forget, however, is how she hated winter.

Pure, utter hatred.

But how could she forget,

When she got a stern reminder every time she looked out the window.

Winter time was a time for her brain and legs to simultaneously deteriorate with each other.

However, she’s always told herself

“I’ll never die in the winter.”¹

Maribel would consistently be excited for April;

Every April first, for the last seven years, a nurse had tapped her on the shoulder;

With an undisturbed enthusiasm, and a smile like a crescent moon,

They would say

“Maribel- It’s April. It’s spring time”

Maribel would always say

“April Showers, May Flowers.”

Though Maribel and her walker take fifteen minutes to walk from the home�™ to the bus stop,

When she could do so in six minutes seven years ago,

And though she would be frozen when a bus would open the mechanical appendages and the driver would just glance in weary annoyance and ultimately shut the doors,

Maribel would smile, because for the first time in months she could walk to the stop,

Now that the damned snow is gone.

(Even better, the ice)

As Maribel returned to the same apartment as she had done for the last seven  years, she pulled a rare complexity and remembered something;

Her middle name is Grace.

K. Wiseman, 6/14/17

The main mood attempted to be achieved is less of flat out depression, but a more bittersweetness; Though sorrowful images seem to power the first few stanzas especially, a feeling of unorthodox and unexpected optimism and happiness can be expressed from Maribel. She tolerates her slowed down life, mentally and physically. Through this, the theme can speak for itself; be happy with what can be made of life, and embrace the small things. Even though it is a bit  cliche, a rule of life comes from, what can interpreted as, the end of Maribel’s life.

¹”I’ll never die in the winter” is a phrase I used to my advantage as an opportunity for direct characterization in a piece of literature that has limited room for such. I was originally upset by the use of the word “in” rather than “during”, as it can sound sloppy and unorderly. However, I decided this can become a part of Maribel’s character rather than a personal mistake. I figured the disregard Maribel holds for her grammar can subtly show a display of power and resilience in her character. It reveals a lust to take control, a certain “I’m in charge” aspect of personality.

�™”the home” is another example of an attempt to take simple and general wording into my advantage. I tried to take it from a senior citizen perspective; “the home” is either a place of love, where they are given what they need to live, and where individuality is encouraged. To others, “the home” is hell. It steals individuality and dignity. I kept Maribel’s perception of this neutral, as her grateful attitude for life in other aspects can indicate that if she does love the home, she has done the remarkable and fallen in love with old age. If she were to take a negative view on the home, she could be in a balance between fantasy and reality. I suppose, ‘fantasy’ is not exactly the perfect word, but in this context, it is to support the ideals and passion Maribel has dedicated to life,  while in reality, she still is forced to walking back to the facility from the bus stop.

‘Negative of Negative of Positive’

Scorn I intimately,

For your soul screams as loud as collapsing snowflake.

Heart transparent as brick wall.

I fall,

Then,

I fall.

The snowflake to land on identical brothers,

They pile to inches in height,

To feet.

Children squeeze their boots upon.

I will see you anon.

Mockery of a mimicry,

Mimicry of an imitation,

Imitation of intimidation.

Intimately I congratulate.

You made it.

I fall,

Then,

I rise,

Then,

Fall.

'Allota'

I’ll say this, maybe you’re right,

I’m stronger than my enemy.

But have I the will to fight?

'Last Straw'

You punctured my lungs with my ribs,

And got upset when you couldn’t find anything inside.

‘Money To Blow’

Marked arms,

All I have to show.

So I go to a pawn shop,

Such low hope.

“Can’t give you much,”

A mop headed man scowls.

“I know,” said I,

“It’s not much to go--”

“Because no one quite wants them,”

“Me lesser than most.”