Chasing Silence

"I hold this to be the highest task for a bond between two people: that each protects the solitude of the other." - Rainer Maria Rilke

There was little left in the cup; perhaps two sips, maybe three. It was hard to tell since Aurelia's hands were gripped tightly around the china body.

Kitty wasn't aware of the magnitude the sound her fingers made on the tabletop until Aurelia gave her a stare. Those hazel eyes locked with her own and they froze, not even a blink, until Kitty retreated her hand to her lap.

There was a slight movement by the window and the timid jingle from Catnip's bell reached Aurelia's ears without sparking a response. A playful tap at the curtain was enjoyed and then Catnip's attention was stolen by a tiny fly commencing a game of chasey. The jingle of her bell was brought alive once again before it faded down the corridor.

The tick, tick of the wall clock was the only sound left in the room. Kitty didn't want to breathe. She held her breath for as long as she could but that only made it harder to let the breath out silently when she couldn't hold it anymore. The veins in her neck were pulsating. She let it out in a gush of air. Aurelia's eyes burned into hers once again but Kitty knew better than to look this time.

The sunshine was starting to collapse into darkness and that's when Kitty knew they were running out of time. Her eyes connected with the lost adventures outside but all she could do was stay where she was. There was no way to know how much time had passed and that thought stirred up a sick feeling inside. We're running out of time, Kitty thought, We're running out of time. Her eyes frantically scanned Aurelia whose hands were still limply latched onto her mug, eyes closed in solitary oblivion, ankles crossed in a relaxed peacefulness and a smile hitching up the edges of her lips. There was no disturbing Aurelia when she had fully surrendered herself to this state; Kitty didn't want to risk it. But there was so much riding on this. So much.

A surge of blurred bodies raced past the window and Kitty pricked up in her seat to watch. They were chasing the lost adventures. They were enacting Kitty's desperate inner desires. They were teasing. Mocking, almost. Perhaps they were the adventures.

To her right, the window that was the portal to backyard festivities, revealed inviting willows, their branches waving to her. Swarms of insects masqueraded as little armies, searching for the enemy, banding together and whispering tactics mid-flight. Two friendly pigeons ruffled their feathers as they landed on a tree branch and began to chatter excitedly about the daily news.

Kitty knew right then, at that moment, that she had lost the fight. It was all going to be over. She would have to release her pigtails and surrender to the horizontal equipment without having the chance to utilise any defence mechanisms. As she looked to Aurelia, the fight in her slipped away. There was such an overwhelming peace that seemed to encompass every vein in her body. And it was okay. If she lost the fight, that was okay.

'Okay, Kit.' The sound snapped Kitty free from the land she'd slipped away to. 'Mummy's had her break. Let's go.'

At first, Kitty struggled to comprehend what was happening. Her mum was awake. They could go and play. The clock indicated they had ten minutes before Kitty's bedtime. This should've been the moment to scramble into her shoes and burst out the door but Kitty's body was heavy. Why did she feel heavy? And also, she actually felt slightly annoyed to be kidnapped from the land of her dreams she was so busily enjoying.

'Come on. Are you coming?' Aurelia was on her feet and waving Kitty over.

No. Not now.

And she remembered. Kitty's hazel eyes connected with Aurelia's and she stared, frozen, with not even a blink.