My Star

Love changes you.

  It was a beautiful night under the stars holding his hand in mine. We had met the day I stepped off the bus.
            I was spending the next week at my fathers house as per the schedule. Normally I am not one to meet new people, but this time it felt different.
            I walked off the bus after spending 3 long hours on a stuffy and slightly overcrowded greyhound. There,  my father stood beside his beat up old Ford pickup. It had been a vibrant red when I was little but today it was mostly rust. He loved that thing and so did I. I missed taking drives out in the country with him most Sunday mornings. In the summer I would crank the radio real loud and have my hand out the window flying in the wind.
           That had been before the divorce, and before the move to the city with my mom and her new boyfriend.
             That week was all about getting away from it all. I had not imagined that I would find someone who would make that spring break so unforgettable.
           "Lisa. You ready to go? How was the ride down? You know I would have gladly picked you up." I rolled my eyes at my dad. I knew he would do it but I did not want him to see my mothers growing belly.
          "It's okay. It was a little crowded but I just listened to my music and worked on some homework." I slung my backpack down by my feet and pushed my suitcase into the backseat.
           "How is your mom? How's she feeling? I know when she was pregnant with you she complained about her feet hurting all the time. You know she craved pickled beets the whole time. It was the only thing she could keep down." I could see the hurt in his eyes.
           "She's good. I got my license last week. I can now drive by myself." I hoped I had succeeded at changing the subject.
            "Oh really. Well I guess we will have to get you your own car." He looked at me and offered me a smile.
           "Oh dad I think you need a new car." I smiled and he laughed.
           I looked out the window as he started his truck. I could take in the smells and sounds of my hometown and always felt happy. Here I could be me. I was not the city girl my mother had hoped I would be. I tried but I was always happy when school was done and i was back for the summer.
          There he was stepping out of a blue pick up. His brown curly hair was matted to his head. Sweat was dripping down his face hitting his bare bronze chest.
           "Lisa?" We pulled out of the bus terminal parking lot and headed out on the gravel road. "Are you hungry?" My stomach grumbled in response and I had to laugh.
           "Very much so."
           He looked over at me with a smile plastered on his face as he steered with his left hand. "Oh good me too." 
          Behind us I could see the blue pickup. My heart was hoping that I would see him again.
          We arrived at the small bungalow that I once lived in with my parents.
          "I figured you would have sold the house by now." I said as we stepped into the house.
          "I want to, but I can't. Too many good memories." We walked into the kitchen, where a woman was setting the small table.         
           "Oh. " She wiped her hands on her small apron and hurried to meet me. She had a smile on her face. She was a little taller than I was and had straight black hair and had a slim figure. She was a pretty woman.
         "Hi Lisa. I'm Angela. She stuck out her floured hand and gave me a warm handshake.
           "Hi." I looked at my dad with a furrowed brow.
           He walked over to her and wrapped his arm around her waist.
          "She is my girlfriend." I could see he was desperate to have my approval. So I let the wide smile spread and he relaxed.
          "Thats great. Well I'm hungry I don't know about you." I said as I made my way to thr small table.
          She seemed to relax as well and we sat down and ate our sandwiches. I sat and watched them talk to eachother. She would occasionally touch his hand when she laughed. It made me happy to see him with her.
          After dinner I headed out to the porch with my book in hand. I brought out a blanket as it was quite chilly but I wanted to sit in my favorite spot. I used to sit here and play with my dolls while my mom played around in her front garden in the warmer weather.
        That day had been nice, but it soon became life changing. Across the road was that same blue pickup. Under the truck was him.
       The screen door opened and I tried to make it seem as if I was reading,  but I think my dad knew, because he chuckled while taking a seat beside me.
        "That's Jessie McCullough. He's Mr and Mrs Haddys grandson.  He moved back to help them out after Frank fell. He's a very responsible 19 year old."
        "Oh. How's The Haddys doing now?" I tried not to look across the road at this boy named Jessie.
       "Frank's feeling better these days. Jessie helps me out sometimes too. His father is a mechanic and he seemed to have picked it up. He is a nice boy. "
         I tried desperately to hide the red color my face was turning. "Dad." He put his hand on my leg.
        "I'm going into town with Angela to pick up some food for tonight."
        "Okay dad. ill just stay here and catch up on some reading. "  
         Angela came out of the door with her purse in hand and my dad followed her down to the truck and they drove off into town.
        I did not see Jessie across the street, he must have gone inside. So I buried myself in my book and lost myself in it.
       I heard the jingle of keys and looked up to see Jessie making his way up the driveway. My heart began to beat out of my chest and I could feel myself going red. I pretended to be reading when all I could think of was that he was coming this way. Maybe he was looking for my dad. Why else would he be coming over here?
      "Hi. " He said while stuffing his hands in his pockets and peering up through his curly locks. He was now wearing a plaid button up shirt and a pair of jeans that had holes and grease stains.
     "Oh hi." I said trying to remain calm.
     "My name is Jessie. I'm staying with my grandparents for a little while. You must be Lisa. John's daughter."
      I set my book aside and nodded.
      "I am, and my dad just went in to town. You just missed him."  I was trying not to stumble on my words. 
      "Oh I was actually looking for you. your dad said you were going to be here this week and thought we might hang out." My eyes widened and it was hard to hide my embarassment. Of the fact my father was setting me up and that I was excited about it.
     "Oh." 
      "That's if you want to. We just got a theatre this year and theres a few good movies playing."
       "I'll have to ask my dad when he gets back. "
        "Of course. Well I'll be right across the road. " He gave me a dazzling smile as he turned around and left me to my thoughts.
         It was another hour before my dad's pickup puttered into the driveway. I had gone back in go the house and turned the tv on to some mindless reality show about millionaire housewives.
        They prepared dinner as I sat flipping through tv channels. The son had disappeared by the time we sat down for dinner. My dad's famous lasagna. It had been a long time since he had made it. The last time he made it was the week my mother and I had moved out.
          "I met Jessie while you guys were gone."
          My dad looked at me with a smirk on his face. "Oh yeah?"
          "He asked if I wanted to go to a movie with him." I was doing that turning red thing again. I hate being me sometimes.
          "And what did you say?" asked my father.
          "Jessie is such a good kid. I've known him most of his life. Wow that makes me feel old." Angela said.
          "Oh babe. You don't look a day over 25." She slapped his arm and giggled. "You should go. You can take the truck if you want. " 
          "I don't know. Tonight?"
           "It's Friday go and have some fun."
          The walk across the gravel dirt road seemed to take forever. I could see Jessie in the small shed beside the house. He was looking for something.
           I walked into the dimly lit shed and cleared my throat so he would know I was there.
           "Lisa! Im glad you came. So you coming to the movies tonight?" I nodded and smiled at his overly cheerful expression. "Well than. Give me a little bit to clean up than we can go."
          I went back to my fathers house and tried on a few outfits before deciding on a pair of blue skinny jeans and a flowered shirt with my light pink spring jacket. I paired it with my pink ballet flats.
         I was in the washroom when he knocked on the door. At 17 this was not my first date but it was my first with a boy older than me. I hurried out with my pink coat and my purse in hand. I said goodbye to my dad snuggled up to Angela on the small sofa. They looked happy.
         There he was standing on the porch in dark blue jeans and a white buttoned up shirt with a black blazer. His curly brown hair looked perfect and a few curls fell as he gave me a smile. He looked irresistible.
         I followed him to his blue truck where he opened the door and held my hand so i could climb into it. I turned red yet again.
         I was so nervous that I just nodded and smiled the whole way to the theatre. It was a busy night so Jessie grabbed my hand and led me to the concession stand.  He yelled out to some of his friends while I tagged along.
         The movie was some sort of sci fi movie. I guess it was pretty good. He still held my hand and would occasionally lean over and whisper something funny. I eventually relaxed and watched the movie smiling the whole time.
         After 2 hours we emerged from the theatre with the growing crowd. My fathe had said not to worry about curfew so we headed to only place to hang out: the local Pizza Hut.
         We sat out on the patio where the wind was just slightly blowing and a little cook. We talked for hours.
          We talked about my parents divorce, his plans for college, and my plans for after graduation.
          It was fun and by the end of the night I had moved to his side.
          Every day that week we spent together. He would ahow me how to change a tire. I was so proud of the fact I could do it, albeit with his help but I did do it.
          I showed him my journal where I kept my poetry. He had sat on my bed and listened to a few and asked to keep one in particular. 
          I had so much fun with him and was so sad that I would be leaving soon. On the day before I had to leave Jessie and I went for a drive where we stopped at the small lake just outside of town.
         We sat under one of the trees by the water and had a picnic dinner. It was perfect and something so romantic.
         He wore dark blue sweater and black slacks. He looked so handsome with his curly hair slightly damp with sweat. His brown eyes shimmered and he wore a bright smile.
        I wore a light purple sweater with a pair of my blue jeans. I wore my black hair down and decided upon some red lipstick.
       Under the tree I leaned up against him as he sat up against the tree. We sat there for a few moments and just held one another. I looked up into his brown eyes and started to cry. Stupid me. Why did I have to cry?
       "Are you okay?" He asked grasping my chin with his rough hands looking into my tear filled eyes.
       "I'm sorry. I really shouldn't cry. I just am sad I have to go back home tomorrow."
      He used his thumb and wiped away the tears that were falling.
        "Its okay. I know I wish our week was longer,  but you have to go back home and I have to go back to Ottawa. You have my number and email. We can still talk and I will come down as much as I can."  He brought me in closer to him and I let him just hold me for a little bit.
          "You won't forget about me?" I said with a whimper. 
          "Of course I won't. This has been a great week with you. It's impossible to forget you. When you start missing me just look up in to the stars. Its where we can be together. Call me whenever you need to. I'll be here for you. "
         I turned around to face him and there I felt something.  I leaned towards him, and closed my eyes. My heart began to pound and I could feel need growing. I was nervous as he started to pull up my sweater.
       That night was magical and I felt so close to him. He saw inside me and was so gentlw with me. He kept asking if I was ready and I said yes every time.
       After we were both dressed we sat down and cuddled under the stars. They seemed especially bright along with the glowing moon.
       My hands were clasped in his and we held eachother until we were falling asleep, then it was time to go home.
     I fell asleep with the sensation of his touch still lingering and dreamt of nothing but him that night. It was my first time and the most unforgettable.
        After returning home we kept in touch for a few weeks until I got a call from my father. Jessie had been on his way home from the library when he was hit by a drunk driver. It was instant which I was grateful for.
        I fell into a depression for months until one day I looked out of my window and saw a shooting star, I believed it was Jessie and from then on I was determined to live life like he had. I went to college and fell inlove with a guy who reminded me of the things I loved about Jessie.
       Even still I look up into the stars and I think about him. My star.