All In Vain

Just a poem that was spawned from the vengeful side of myself. I shall dedicate it to the ones who created this feeling within me.

You will never catch the light,

for you never dare to step into it.

It shall reveal your evil.

Your misdeed shall be your everlasting chain,

wrapped around your body, your prison;

tightened around your throat,

as you try to gasp lies of your innocence.

You can’t escape.

Your body and mind, immersed in the bottomless pool of vanity.

You will have no need for air,

you will choke on your pride.

Struggle as you might, it will be all in vain.

You will never escape.

Image: http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&global=1&q=chains#/d6iohz

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Author's Note

Let me know what you think. Constructive criticism welcomed.

Reviews

[Jeannear]

love this....thank you for sharing

[Emma Keynes]

I understand exactly what you mean. One thing I really like about this poem is that I can really see what you are describing, especially the chains, as I use chains and ropes as a symbol of figurative and literal bondage. I really loved "you try to gasp lies of your innocence." That really struck me as an extremely powerful line. You did really well with this poem.

Emma :)

[justjenn_2u]

Some are covered in darkness. They are afraid of what they may see. I was once there so I speak from experience. The rape I endure is my offender's everlasting chain and ma he live on with it. This poem was just what I needed and I give you HUGE kudo's for being so poetic in your writing skills. Great write and keep prevailing!!!!!!!!! Write on.

[Emily]

I liked it to a point. I'm not too sure what kind of image you were trying to create. Here is what I saw. I saw a person drowning in the views and judgements of the world. I may be incorrect but this is what I saw. Good job. Keep writing.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Fantastic and to the point. People like this are everywhere yet they will lead themselves to their own demise. Excellent write, really enjoyed this.

[}Echo{]

This is... Interesting.. I really like this. Awesomeness. :)

[Franki Valerie]

This is... wow. Makes me wanna start writing poetry again! You've inspired me :)

[Bobbie Coelho]

i understand this poem, Kris, but all you have to do is move into the light and face it- I had to and I survived and leant from it.

I particularly like the imagery of the chain, hard, cold and weighing down.

[luviva]

wow.. this is amazing bt i gt one question.... escape it... what????

[Kris]

Escape the consequences and the wrath.

[Matty Bosox]

This is absolutely a solid punch in the face....An overhand right to the jaw!!! Amazingly and astoundingly well written...I know soooo many fake people that I just cannot stand in life...Jersey Shore....LoL I think this should be read to all of them...Kris, this is brilliance, absolute brilliance!! And when those fake people were to read this they would have nothing to say but just want to go cry in a corner...So powerful, so mind blowing, so intense, and just oh so right...I love every single word of this write...Well done Kris, absolutely well done :o)