Inhumane

What man kind has come to

A life with no pain

 Its hard to maintain 

 People fly in planes 

 Visiting Spain

 Others sit in the rain 

 Praying for a grain

 They cry in vain 

 But your too busy dealing cocaine

 Making money, for your own personal gain 

 Yet u still find a way to complain 

 Life is too hard to sustain 

 This is just insane 

 How much more blood are you willing to see again? 

 Too tired to explain 

 God has giving you a brain 

 Stop thinking with your a*s and get off that lane 

Your going off track and it isn't your domain 

 You will get burned with acid rain 

 Everybody wants to reign 

 But man u want more then u can obtain 

 Your being fooled by a secret campaign

 Your just too busy being entertained 

 Stop holding on to that golden chain 

It ain't saving your a*s when its time to jump off that train 

 This life isn't sane 

 Humans are simply inhumane

Reviews

[someonesomeone]

I am curious about which specific culture you were referring to. When you mentioned golden chain, I imagined it was the african-american rap culture which you were referring to.

Other hints, were your mention of a secret campaign, (which I considered a reference to the illuminati,) and dealing cocaine. Both of which have been relevant to rap culture.

As a social conscious poem, I was very appeased.

Could you please clarify if there was a specific culture that you were referring to?

[Krisna Chatelain]

Well you are right on track! although on a deeper level it can apply to any culture. the golden chain is a metaphor for money and materialistic possessions. Secret campaign is any highly influential organization, political party, belief system that can affect how someone thinks and behave. Dealing cocaine refers to worldwide products that are genetically engineered, filled with chemicals and that is sold to us under false advertising ("entertainment") and with which the average consumer suffers because of it everyday.
So rap culture was used to capture a bit more the readers attention and because the rhyming sounded cool.
PS: anything you'de like for me to read?

[someonesomeone]

If you could read any of my writing, that would make me happy.

Nobody reads my stories in "real life". Sad face.

I'd like to read more of your writing because I think this was the most eye-catching, contemporary poem that I have read today.

Expect more reviews.

[Krisna Chatelain]

I will post more later on today...in the meantime tell me what you think of The Mind.

[someonesomeone]

Fresh perspective:

It rings of confidence, and still has a forcefulness that hits right in the chest. It's like it's directed at a man's pride, which is naturally heated and fragile. It still rings to me as an urban American street sonnet. I still catch that rap from a lowrider vibe.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree with your words 100%.
"Stop holding on to that golden chain
It ain't saving your a*s when its time to jump off that train
This life isn't sane
Humans are simply inhumane "
Hard to grasp the deeds of the human race? I like the honest tone and thoughts in the words. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[KanaDream]

The message is true and the rhyming is fun. Very well done! Keep Dreaming. ^^