Laundry Day

Nero has to clean his clothes at the laundry mat, with events and new prospects unfolding on such an uneventful day.

Laundry Day

Nero wouldn’t have minded having to clean his clothes in the basement of his building. Assuming the owner of the renovated “historic” building ever got around to fixing the refurbishing machine. Since the orc who owned the property was a cheapskate, Nero found himself at a laundry mat three blocks away from his loft. After a recent jaunt within the sewers gone horribly wrong, he couldn’t exactly wait to wash his clothes, with the smell being almost too much to handle on his walk over to the laundry mat.

Eye’s half lidded, Nero caught himself watching the refurbishing machine run a cycle on his clothes. he pulled out his phone, glancing at the time displayed on his screen. The lock screen itself was that of feral cat eating spaghetti, which made him laugh in his sleep deprived state, each time that he saw it. As Nero chuckled to himself, thinking of his cat-folk friend who had sent him the picture, he moseyed over to the vending machine.

Bayside was known for having elaborate vending machines. Just about anything you could think of, there was probably a vending machine somewhere in the city that sold it. For anything else, one could walk down to the market district right near the bay. That is, if they’re not too squeamish about the sight of monsters lurking about the bay waters and fishermen slaughtering them.

Said vending machine had a variety of options: Soda, snacks, cleanser pills even. At this, however, Nero had to wonder. Who the hell would be buying cleanser pills at a laundry mat? His eyes moved over to the disgusting single bathroom the place held, with a goblin rushing into it while holding their stomach. Did denizens really try to get it on in the bathroom? Sure, cleanser pills were used for more than sexually transmitted infections, but the majority of people who carried them around knew how they were best used.

But to do the nasty in a run-down laundry mat bathroom?

Nero shuttered.

He slid a single gold bill into the machine, typing in the displayed code for a cream soda. An opening in the machine sluggishly parted, revealing a glass bottle filled with his beverage. He twisted the top, flicking the bottle cap into a receptacle in the corner of the laundry mat. The magic trash collector jingled, breaking down the components of the cap within an instant.

Nero always loved the noise the magic trash cans of Bayside made. It reminded him of something similar to a “level up!” sound in a childhood video game he cherished. He sipped his soda, looking at the remaining time on his refurbishing machine. Only about eight minutes to go. Nero regretted not using one of the fancy refurbishing machines, which could turn clothes brand new in seconds. He leaned against a nearby wall, watching his machine twirl his clothes about, with the magic within the machine constantly changing colors as it swirled around the clothes.

First a light red. Then a purple. Then blue. It would do this the entire time it cleaned the clothes, almost mesmerizing to Nero in his sleepy state. He nodded off, nearly dropping his soda as he jolted awake. He needed to sit. As he found a seat on a metal bench near the window of the laundry mat, Nero leaned back into the window, letting out a yawn.

“...and I told her I didn’t care,” a voice rang in his ear, with a denizen walking into the laundry mat, phone pressed into her large ear with one hand, carrying a basket of laundry in the other. She was a tall denizen, being some variation of fox-folk. Her tail was large and swooped from side to side as she walked. With the goblin who was doing a load of laundry still occupying the bathroom, it was just Nero and the loud fox-folk woman wearing jean shorts.

Nero’s eyes opened a little wider as she strut past him, her tail grazing his leg. He pretended not to notice, playing if off, but overthinking it. Rather shameless, Nero caught himself watching the fox-folk woman open the side-door to a refurbishing machine not far from his. Still talking on the phone, the fox-folk woman dropped the basket of laundry she had been holding with one hand, nodding along to her conversation as she began tossing in clothes.

“Right,” she said, “Right! If I don’t want kids and wanna sleep with whoever, I will, damn it.”

Nero cleared his throat, wondering if she knew he was there. She didn’t seem to notice, going about her business. Once she finished loading her laundry, she walked over to the bench Nero was sitting at. Her conversation seemed rather intense, with Nero forcing himself not to stare at the woman’s chest.

Nira had told him to go out and meet new denizens. She wasn’t going to care if Nero got a number. Nero thought of his elf sorceress friend, feeling as if she’d talk him up and ask for the fox-folk’s number. Sure, she seemed older than him. In fact, perhaps twice his age. But it was always hard to tell with fox-folk. Besides, with breasts like those, it didn’t matter if-

Nero pulled his eyes back, pretending to be so interested in his cream soda that was nearly finished. His eyes trailed up to the fox-folk beside him on the phone.

She was looking right at him, with a smile. Her amber colored eyes seemed to shimmer with devious knowledge.

He’d been caught red handed.

Nero’s face turned flush with embarrassment, pulling out his own phone, pretending to be messaging someone.

“Sure, sounds great,” the fox-folk woman said over the phone. “Next week, for sure this time. Alrighty, love. Bye-bye.”

She hung up, sliding her phone between her breasts. Her crop top hardly hid much, with no bra to speak of. She sat there a moment longer, with Nero sweating bullets.

“Haven’t seen you around here before,” the denizen mentioned, chuckling a little.

“Uh, yeah,” Nero coughed. “The refurbishing machine at my place is busted.”

“Same here,” the denizen sighed. “Sucks, really. The repairman told me it would take longer than expected, but I didn’t think it would take this long.”

“Y-yeah….” Nero muttered, a hand shoved into his jacket pocket. He was nervously fiddling with one of many zip ties in his coat. He had forgotten they were in there from a former job.

“You seem nervous….” the fox-folk woman cooed a bit, laughing soon after.

“I, uh,” Nero fumbled.

As if some twisted sense of fate came to his rescue, the front of of the laundry mat was kicked open, with a masked denizen in all black rushing into the place with a shotgun of some kind. Nero, still somewhat half awake, gripped his glass soda bottle a little tighter when the masked denizen started waving the shotgun in their faces.

The fox-folk woman raised her hands, freezing in fear.

“Everything you got, now!” the robber demanded.

“Just relax,” Nero spoke, with his training kicking in. “My wallet is in my coat. Nobody needs to get hurt.”

“No funny business….” the masked denizen demanded. His body language and lack of tail suggested he was a fellow human. His hands were gloved, but they too seemed human enough.

“Just lower that thing a little first,” Nero told him. “I don’t want you accidentally-”

“Sweet mother of the gods!” A voice from the back bathroom of the laundry mat echoed. “I thought I wasn’t gonna make it!”

As the goblin man marched around the corner, he let out a shrill of a school girl having their hair pulled by a bully. The robber was now pointing his shotgun at the goblin, who was in the middle of a panic attack.

Nero spun the glass bottle in his hand, with the rest of his cream soda slipping onto his lap. As Nero sprung from his seat, he swung the glass bottle with all his might, shattering it to a hundred pieces. The cotton ski mask was torn in the back from the blow, with crimson staining the fabric. Like a sack of rocks, the robber dropped, flopping on the floor. Without wasting time, Nero found himself straddled over the unconscious denizen, tearing off their mask. It was a human; the pale kind, like Nero. And he was breathing.

With one of many zip ties in his coat, Nero bound the would-be robber with their ankles and wrists behind their back. Still knelt to the ground, Nero pulled out his phone, hitting a number he had on speed dial. On the second ring, the phone answered.

“Hey Dixon,” Nero spoke, as casual as ever. “I have a suspect who just tried to rob the laundry mat near my place. Yeah, that’s the one. No, my landlord still hasn’t fixed the refurbishing machine at our place. Guess that’s just as well. You mind sending someone to pick this guy up, I’m in the middle of laundry.” It was now Nero’s turn to nod along to his phone call, with the fox-folk watching the entire display unfold before her.

As Nero finished his conversation and hung up, he stood from the floor, discovering what became of the goblin.

Well, he fainted.

“Wow….” the fox-folk woman muttered, with Nero having forgotten she was standing there. Once he went into work mode, that was all Nero could focus on. Now, he found himself staring at the fox-folk woman as he continued to kneel over the suspect.

Her n*****s were erect, and her eyes told the entire story.

She reached into her purse, pulling out a business card, handing it to Nero.

“My number is on there,” the woman spoke. “You should call it.”

Nero made small talk with the woman until his clothes were done, informing her he would very much call her, gathering his laundry, continuing to make awkward small talk with the fox-folk until the guards arrived to haul the suspect away.

Reports indicated that the goblin who had fainted was alright, though admitted to being “a little shook up.” Considering the circumstances, the guards assured the goblin denizen that it was quite normal to faint when a shotgun is directed at your face.

There were also rumors that the fox-folk gave Nero a wink before he shuffled out the front door with his basket of laundry, practically skipping the entire way home.

Author's Note

This story is loosely weaved with the others in this "book" project. If you're curious to know more about Nero, Bayside, and the strange world it takes place in, check out the other stories. Each sequential chapter weaves together a larger tale, though each story can be read on their own independently. Read "An Introduction" within this book for more details.