This is a free verse poem, written out of a deep emotion I've been struggling to pin down. I've been testing out new writing styles, mixing things up a bit to be a better writer. I hope you enjoy it.
My Review
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I get a wandering-about-in-a-dream-like-state vibe, though maybe not a dream in a traditional sense. Either way, it is lucid dream. The dreamer is fully aware and able to report the experience. This place is a mysterious and curious remnant of the past. Of the dreamer's past, apprehended only vaguely at first but with certainty at last. Home from a previous lifetime, many generations ago
At least, that's what I take from it...
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
In many ways, that's very much true to the inspiration. In some way, another lifetime feels accurate.. read moreIn many ways, that's very much true to the inspiration. In some way, another lifetime feels accurate to the sensation I got reliving the experience of an old place. I appreciate the review by the way!
I get a wandering-about-in-a-dream-like-state vibe, though maybe not a dream in a traditional sense. Either way, it is lucid dream. The dreamer is fully aware and able to report the experience. This place is a mysterious and curious remnant of the past. Of the dreamer's past, apprehended only vaguely at first but with certainty at last. Home from a previous lifetime, many generations ago
At least, that's what I take from it...
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
In many ways, that's very much true to the inspiration. In some way, another lifetime feels accurate.. read moreIn many ways, that's very much true to the inspiration. In some way, another lifetime feels accurate to the sensation I got reliving the experience of an old place. I appreciate the review by the way!
pleasant but unsettling read. so well described/written. such places have left an indelible mark upon us. a piece of us forever there. hopes, dreams and the like ... :)
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
That you very much for the review and kind words. Some places certainly do leave their mark on us, a.. read moreThat you very much for the review and kind words. Some places certainly do leave their mark on us, and were places that helped us get to where we are now.
A place filled with a sense of familiarity, like it had a story before,
But no longer its story echo through one's chamber doors,
The sentiment is close, and intimate, something I've seen before,
The forgotten places, and tales, and figures from the days of yore,
So intimate and enchanted, the written verses such as yours,
It is as if we've been there before,
Congratulations, author Kane Hagwood, on another piece so well-written,
Upon reading it, I can feel my heart has been led astray, smitten,
The work you've written echoes such heavy sentiments,
It's as if you've took me there in-person, without a single word spoken.
Perhaps I'll write a piece in return soon in time, on the same subject but to my personal experience. It's a backyard cafe of a mountainuous inn in Da Lat, Viet Nam. I've gone there on a special occasion and I'll probably try to post an image of it if possible. Thank you for sharing your work, author Kane Hagwood.
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Thank you so much for the review and the kind words, friend. Reading that made me smile, and I'm gla.. read moreThank you so much for the review and the kind words, friend. Reading that made me smile, and I'm glad my work was well received. And if you do write a piece with a similar subject matter, I'll keep my eyes out for it. I always love to read your work and hear your perspective on life as a whole.
I can relate to this poem in my own ways having lived in three different countries and finding things changed whenever I return to visit them. Such places are sacred to us and filled with memories but to others, they are just places to desecrate for whatever changes they deem required. Unfortunately, all life evolves and our old stomping grounds become just that; stomped on. I feel the questions and angst in your lines.
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Thank you for reviewing my poem. It's hard, watching time erode places and times we loved. But that.. read moreThank you for reviewing my poem. It's hard, watching time erode places and times we loved. But that's just a part of life, I suppose. I try to remind myself that it just means better things are to come.
The first two lines are killer good. The whole thing has a great cadence. You have done yourself proud with this one. Just as a suggestion, you might want to read some of Marianne Moore's earlier work as she wrote most of her poems in syllabic verse, meaning the structure of the poems lines were determined by a set number of syllable in each line of each stanza. Your formatting makes me think of her.
Winston
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Thank you very much for reviewing my poem, Winston. I went ahead and wrote down Marianne Moore's nam.. read moreThank you very much for reviewing my poem, Winston. I went ahead and wrote down Marianne Moore's name so I can look into her work when I get the chance. I may try something different with my structure the next time I write a poem, just to see if I can get a more consistent rhythm to it. Or at the very least, try it out and see what happens. For feedback is always welcomed and appreciated :)
Mixing styles can be such an important tool. Learning to blend the story and your approach is powerful.
Posted 1 Year Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Hey, thank you for the review! I've spent a long time trying to develop my voice, even in poetry. Bu.. read moreHey, thank you for the review! I've spent a long time trying to develop my voice, even in poetry. But I've still got a lot to learn about poetry. Heck, even writing! I'm just glad you found value in my words. Thank you for sharing your time with me :)
I hope all is well and I hope you have an amazing, peaceful day :)
My writing is for those who seek adventure, fun, and a good laugh from time to time. I enjoy connecting with other writers and am willing to take constructive criticism. At times, I succumb to the wei.. more..