Hymn finale (poem for book in progress)

 Glaring through portals of Lifeless gray

Victims stay frozen like flies of a web

Not a breath escapes

To pollute the air

Not a flicker of light

Turns night to day

Where will you drink from when the waters turn sick?

And the rivers run black with poison

Where will you run when the ground pulls away?

And all that's left to do is to fall

Where will you hide when your homes burn to ash?

And you come face to face with your demons

What will you do when your children are taken?

And turn like rabid animals against you

Who will save the meek few?

When heaven turns its back on you

And leaves your world to the vicious teeth of Hell

Who's Banner will you fall behind?

When there are no flags left to fly

 

 

Reviews

[Constance-Outspoken]

Honestly, after having read a few of your poems, I will say that I like your storytelling much better than your psalms. I love the ideas, but the flow of poetry isn't there... I don't mean to say that all poems must have meter or structure. Not at all. However, poems are rounded, curving streams, and this stream ran too clear and straight for me. Just changing the format, the breakup of the lines, could change the reading of this piece entirely, creating more flow. It's hard to explain flow, however. It's like explaining 'soul'.
This being said, your words fascinated enough for me to keep reading along your page, which says something. Keep writing. :)