A Few Starry Tears

I don't want my naive life

to find fulfillment in non-existent words.

I don't need your dreams,

I don't need fertile pain

to prove to me that you can

lie beautifully.

 

I hid a few starry tears behind

the heart of the night,

to bring me luck tomorrow,

to hide some heaven

in delightful delusions.

 

I do not wait for this life that brings

only salty stars, empty desires for God

to obey us.

Instead of giving life,

blood mixes with tears.

 

It's hard to tell pain from rain

in the middle of winter.

How can you cultivate this wall,

this abyss where your gutted

heart is stuck?

Do not pretend to bear the mark

of your promised humanity

on your temples.

 

Do not plead guilty if you gave me

your sins long ago.

Reviews

[Ookpik]

You know Katarzyna, there is some really moving, polarizing language here: the kind with an accusatory note, that provokes a degree of deep, and yet calloused contrition.

When I was younger, not that I'm old, I used to take it upon myself to want to be everyone's friend; I used to feel obligated, in a way, to feel deeply on their behalves - and, very often, found myself injured when it turned out we weren't.

One thing I've learned, is that if we hold ourselves accountable for the feelings of everyone around us, not only will it drive us crazy - worrying what they may think, or what the right thing may be to affect that - but in spending all that time, and emotional energy and investment, worrying about people that don't really worry about us, we often inadvertently forget to look out for ourselves and wind up doubly injured as a result.

Since I've realized this, I think I've grown somewhat cold. I've had to deaden the parts of me that used to feel compelled into compassion, or that would empathize, or that would feel on another's behalf. That said, knowing that I'd done that to protect myself, I'm still careful not to let the pilot light blow out - as vulnerable as those qualities may sometimes leave us, they remain the ones that keep us human.

Not sure if you'd find any of that insightful, but it's what came to mind when I read this.

Thanks for taking me on a ride. You write well and I appreciated reading.

-Ook

[Katarzyna Anna Koziorowska]

Thank you so much for such a comprehensive, insightful comment. It is very nice that you took so much time in writing it. I really like your interpretation of my work. I'm glad that you liked my poem. Thanks to you, I have found the motivation to keep creating. Of course, I invite you to visit me again. I greet you warmly.

[JE Falcon]

I read a poem once, can't remember where I saw it, maybe in some of my own discarded scraps. It said something like, "Why do you stand there looking at me, and expecting me to do something, my words were my deeds, and they are done." --- And for some unknown reason, your poem brought that line to mind. --- Having said that, I found several passages thought-provoking, others, moving, but I felt that the religious references were either too vague for me, or I couldn't relate to them. --- But, hey, that was for me, others may see all that you are describing. As far as flow and composition, well done!