My Painful Fear

You are my blue-eyed hope

that I cannot dream of.

You are the green breath

that tames my painful fear.

My body is spinning out of control,

my soul is drifting at the foot of

the ceiling where I see the future

of history I have redeemed.

I have to die for time to start over.

I have to die if I want to free myself

from God's sovereignty.

You forbade me to dream of a love

that sympathizes with my still young

loneliness.

I woke up at dusk, went for a walk

on the other side of the sky.

The brightest star breaks free

from your heart, a scream is released

from your sweet and sour lips,

the echo of which I wish to remember exactly.

The stone of the pillow

to which I hug my soul is cold.

The bedding still remembers the taste

of your bliss.

Touch my heart tenderly, closed with a zipper.

Your shadow follows me.

There is a night that could hold me on

my thirtieth anniversary of solitude.

Could you please find my tear

that I saw on your cheek yesterday?

I try to get out of this bottomless abyss,

I try to catch my dreams

before they dissipate in the fog

of nobody's death.

Get up, feel the abundance of free will,

die in the embrace of eternity.

Will you mention me in your dream?

Will you feel my withered body?

Reviews

[Writergurl]

Could you please find my tear
that I saw on your cheek yesterday?
I try to get out of this bottomless abyss,
I try to catch my dreams
before they dissipate in the fog
of nobody's death.

So amazing, I really enjoy the way you write.
you have talent.

[Ada]

I don't believe that we have as much free will as we have been led to believe...its challenging to go in circles with our own morbid thoughts but we do the best we can.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"went for a walk on the other side of the sky"
You write so many lines that just blow me away...

is her tear yours? I have seen that in my lifetime...and even if I wiped it away...the hurt is still there.
I don't know that I will be mentioned in her dreams, or her dreams or another's dreams.
Maybe a glimpse back from her is all I can hope for.
j.

[Gideon X. A. Elson]

My goodness the journeys you take us on, with you in your poems. And if they come from your heart. How teeming, full of experiences and emotion it must be.