For I cried ...

On the day you left me

I cried 1000 tears.

For each tear I cried.

there was a word to be said.

No tears were enough,

To make you see what I was doing.

No words were enough

To stop this pain.

Nor the heart doesn’t listens

to the truth or the mind.

 

As the tear drops fell,

so you walked out the door,

As the hurt increased,

I faded more into the misery pit.

On the day you left me,

I cried 1000 tears.

These tears were not good enough for you �" And

Now YOU ARE GONE !!!!

My eyes now don't know the

path to go. For I cried 1000 tears,

you made me die every

second..

Author's Note

Can you feel the sadness ??

Reviews

[Perkele.7885]

I can feel the misery still minutes after reading it and I am used to writing misery pieces. The last line sold me on you as a writer. No maybe's about you!

[Kousika]

Oh.. Thanks.. Even I love reading misery stories.. :))

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful flow of thoughts. I could feel the sadness and the disappointment in the words. I liked how you used the repetition. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Kousika]

Thanks .. :))))

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Aatharva Banaitkar]

this is fantastic,"For each tear I cried.there was a word to be said." this pure feelings which the poem express so nicely that i felt like i am reading something which is really meant for reading , what more to say about it and last 2 stanza i really love them .

[Kousika]

Thanks a lot my friend...:))

[ANTO]

"Nor the heart doesn’t listens
to the truth or the mind." - I pondered on this - the phrase 'the truth OR the mind', I found intriguing - as if the mind is not capable of the truth in this instance - hmm... very interesting Kousika.

"Now YOU ARE GONE !!!!" - I feel this could be formatted differently - it seemed shouty to me - not sad as such.

I can certainly feel the sadness though Kousika throughout. The phrase 'I cried 1000 tears' is similar to the lyrics of a song (by RJ Helton) which includes the line 'I cried a thousand tears'
:)

[Kousika]

Thanks for your valuable review sir. Will keep in mind and correct it..:))

[ANTO]

Your welcome Kousika. Welcome to the WC. :)

[Kousika]

I thought would reflect it's depth so I wrote it in an upper case,bro..
Will check it out...

[Kousika]

I happy to be wandering in this world.. :)))

[ANTO]

Hey - just a thought but how about lower case - but emboldened for that phrase ??

[Kousika]

ya.. Will use it nxt time.. N I tuk it as a compliment only.. :))

[ANTO]

best way to be Kousika - very seldom things are said on here with malice.
Good Luck !

[Kousika]

I used your review in my new poems.. bold few words, increased the size to create impact..
Review that too and convey about it, Sir..

[ANTO]

I will definitely do that Kousika. As soon as I get a free minute. Im snowed under with RRs - no worries my friend. :)

[bhavaniVdev]

It's so melancholic which I feels like the life of the poem.

[Kousika]

Welcome.. Thanks..

[MOON]

Poignant well expressed , good write.

[Kousika]

Thanks..:))

[Pushkar Prabhat]

such pain.........and hurt......yes i feel the sadness......
written with passion and enriched with honesty and emotions.......
beautiful expressions!!!
i loved it!!!
:)

[Kousika]

Thank yaar..

[Pushkar Prabhat]

you are welcome.....yaar!!! :) :)

[Jamestown]

Ouch:( I could certainly feel the raw emotions in this piece, brought back some
sour memories of my own, well written piece, sorry for your pain:(
Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[Kousika]

Thanks.. Ya.. I wrote it on an emotional day..