I Want To Be A Princess

When I was a little girl I dreamed of growing up and living that fairy tale life. You know the one with the perfect prince charming, a big beautiful house, and the cutest little kids? I dreamed that everything in my life would be perfect, just like in the story books.

 

Now, I'm growing up to live that dream. I'm a senior in high-school, I'm no longer a virgin, and I'm still dating the guy I lost my virginity to my freshman year. He's this amazing soccer player. Tall, blond, beautiful blue eyes, a smile to die for, and very wealthy. His parents had owned houses all over the world because there were big time movie stars. They never liked to stay in one place for one period of time. But I know I'm in love with him. He was my first everything. Even better? Last Saturday he proposed to me! I am so happy to have found someone like him. It's almost unreal! Everything is following my dreams from when I was just a little girl. We are as happy as can be together, I wouldn't want anyone else. 

 

After our wonderful wedding on a beautiful snowy Saturday, it was time for Christmas Break. For our honeymoon we went to the most amazing places, like the mountains, the Grand Canyon, and Paris and Vienna. We ate a lot of new but delicious foreign foods and saw many things like the Eiffel Tower and Italy's Locks of Love. It was so... perfect. Everything was going great. After all, it was our honeymoon and we had two weeks to do whatever we wanted. Seeing all the amazing sights the world had to offer was amazing. Well, maybe all of them is an exaggeration, but it's more than I've ever seen.

Our honeymoon was picture book perfect. The sights, the parks, the mountains, the sex, the fun. It was everything I had imagined it would be. I couldn't believe this was all happening to me, and so quickly! It was hard to catch my breath in all of this suddenness. Everything was moving so quickly, going so perfectly. I could almost swear it was a dream.  

But after three years of marriage, we started to drift apart. I don't know what had happened... Everything had been so very... perfect. I could see and feel  us drifting, going our separate ways. It hurt me.  I guess living together and being together almost all day everyday, we lost our interest, out passion. We were no longer excited to wake up and see each other's face every day. We had lost our spark... whatever it was that made us want each other. 

He started staying out late at night. Coming home wreaking of cigarettes and alcohol. I could smell the different perfumes that weren't mine every time he crawled into bed, thinking I was asleep. I stopped having sex with him because I was scared, scared of getting an STD. This to me was unbelievable. Being scared to talk to and scared to be with the guy I lost my virginity to and had been with for almost seven years, from a young teenager to drinking age.

After a few more months of the continuous drifting and arguing with everything going completely wrong, we got divorced. I couldn't bear the pain any longer. I had to end it, no matter how much it hurt. This was the worst feeling to me. I felt sad and alone. In less than a week after it happened, he packed all his stuff leaving no trace that we ever even lived together. The only picture he left me was the one on our wedding day when we were eighteen and in love. 

A year had passed and I hadn't seen or talked to him. So, I decided it was time to make a facebook. I went through the signing up process and agreeing to terms. Everything I needed to make one. Once I finished setting it up, I search for him. Ten minutes passed before I found him. I couldn't see anything on his profile. He had it set to private. After ten more minutes I got the courage to send him a friend request. I was anxious for him to add me.

When he did, I was lurking on his profile. I came across his relationship status. It said he was married. This broke my heart. Knowing that he had moved on, let go of everything we had. I cried and cried, not knowing what to do. The worst part  was that she was young and beautiful. About three years younger than me. She was obviously what he wanted. No matter how much I wanted to I couldn't hate her... the girl that now has my fairytale life and the girl that has my dream, I just couldn't. I had to respect her. She was gorgeous and he looked happy with her and even sober.

I just wish my dream had stayed with me, like I wanted. I want it back. I want the life back. How could I let it slip away like that and end up alone, hurting like this? I want to go back, back to a time where I was happy. Back to when I was happy and in love. To when my dreams were coming true. I want the fairytale and happy ending back. I want to be a princess, just once more.