Something like the best of remembrances.

That's something I had written years and years back. I don't really like it, but I would like to read some reviews on it.

You had left far away from me.

I had managed to drive you away.

Everything seemed to be misty, and you looked

as if you  only were a dark silhouette. A shadow.

Pretending that my life was great,

I hadn't realized that there was something

missing.

 

Looking at the mirror I see that I wasn't

enough for you.

I understand that your choice was wise,

leaving before something that you considered

wrong happened.

I'm not and I'll never be enough.

I know that you deserve the best,

the same way I know I'm not it.

 

Looking at the mirror, everything comes back in mind.

A flame starts to wink again inside me,

a white candle that melts down slowly,

agonizing me deeply.

Everything comes back and I want you again.

I want to hold you tight in my arms...

as if you were that little doll we used to

hold as kids.

I love you.

For some reason you 're everywhere.

everything around me is you, and

as the dark rain starts again,

I plunge in the sea of melancholy

inside me,

in my real self's depths.

I don't have you.

 

Looking at the mirror,

I see my reflection and ignore yours, standing next to me.

The candle has melted and that trembling flame has faded.

You're dead.

 

I move away from the glass, but you're stil there,

with that shiny blade in its wooden grip.

You place it in my hands, and I pet

yours...

Thin, pretty hands.

 

I softly touch the blade with my fingers.

I'm on my way,

but the thought that

I'll be away from you for some more,

hurts more than the blade

that rips my viscera as if they were

rotten fruits.

 

I'm with you.

Author's Note

Pls, be honest.

Reviews

Wow. I think it was a wicked powerful poem. Very strong and emotional. I like it! I like that its a little dark and brooding. I think you did a great job on this poem...

[Perdition]

This is cluttered , but it almost seems cluttered by the thoughts you are coming into terms with. An instant page from the mind confused in the moment...nothing wrong with that.
If you choose to trim it a little the "reflection" may get a shine and clarity to the reader that is shocking even more ...words like

" I see my reflection and "I" ignore yours,...

There are some great moments here...Thanks for the energy!