Victor

Let me win just this once, and bow your head for me.

Victor

I’ve forgotten your name,

I’ll say to you one day.

Do you know me from somewhere?

And I won’t recall ever having met you,

Known you, smiled at you, laughed with you,

Missed you, grieved for you, buried you,

Given you up for good.

And I want you to look at me then, be ashamed,

Be shocked, be speechless, be devastated that I don’t remember you

Grieve, mourn, wail, and have to stop to catch your breath

When you see how full I am, how satisfied I am without you,

How forgetful I’ve become, how curious I am at your speechlessness -

I want you to say with sweaty palms and a nervous grin -

Don’t you remember me? We were friends, once.

 

But I’m afraid that when that day comes

When I stand before you thinking that I am stronger,

Smarter, richer, better than I was, better than you are, winner -

You’ll look at me, mildly surprised -

Do you know me from somewhere?

And then I’ll despair and beat upon my chest

Because this wasn’t how I dreamed it.

This wasn’t how I dreamed it.

 

You’ll be the forgetful one, I know,

Sheepish, taken aback, genuinely clueless,

And I’ll stand there speechless, shocked, utterly devastated

Because this wasn’t how I dreamed it.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

I was supposed to win in the end

To be stronger, to be smarter, to be richer,

To be better - to be winner

Because in the end, I know what we are

And what we aren’t, what we never were

What I might have wished we were

But never was. Never was.

Never was and never will be, I know,

Because we were only ever friends, nothing more.

 

Just this once, I want to win.

Just this once, I want to show the world

That I never needed you, that I am unafraid now

That I am better off without you than with

Because I am STRONG I am GREAT I am -

I am -

I am ME -

And what need of you have I? What need of you had I?

Let me dream of the day when I stand before you

And you are the one devastated and speechless

And let me be the one blithely unaware

Let me be the victor for just one moment

Even if it means I will never know it

Even if it means that I must forget that this is what I wanted all along.

 

Let me be proud just this once.

Let me dream and let me have just that

To be victor

for just one moment.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the poem. Sometime it is good to bow your head and accept defeat to stop the pain. Easy to win. Hard to lose and allow the wound to heal. I like the desire and the purpose of this poem. Most of us take a lifetime to learn. Less words and to be humble leave the lessons of love to be less painful. Thank you for the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[EileenMarie]

I can't believe you are only 17?! Your are much wiser than your years. I must say this was another captivating poem! You spoke to many who will read this! Its beautifully stated. I enjoyed this emencely!

[Lucien Maier]

Very nice rhythm through it. You feel the emotions start to well more and more as you move through the piece. I enjoyed it.

[Sean]

I agree with the others. Great diction, and most engaging.

[Wretched Knight]

Wonderful!

[S]

Just perfect.

[WastedTalents]

Isn't this the goal every writer has? To connect and be felt? Your poem is titled Victor but to me it may as well be titled Nick. Very well done.

[Daydreamer54]

I loved this poem! it sounds powerful and hopeful. everyone wants that chance where they fell superior! The 4th stanza was my favorite!Awesome write!

[dontwakeme]

You drew me in from the first word. I love this poem. I can feel the strength and power in the words. You have great diction.

[Emily]

Excellent

[Hiddenfire]

Well I don't know if the piece has changed any since the previous reviews I've read, but in my opinion I wouldn't change anything in this. Not the format, word choice, or it's arrangement.
The poem itself just speaks of yearning and a slight touch of jealousy/brokenness that comes through subtly and completely. I could feel the need to be heard, to be someone and be able to look back and say: "I told you! I am and always was amazing!" and I think that if we're all honest with ourselves we've all had that moment at least once or twice. Fantastic read, thank for it.