Sick Mother

It's never an easy thing to do
To stand in front of you
It's like a thriller movie
Things are going well
And something goes wrong
That's when we're going down
Your eyes getting cold
Heavy atmosphere
I stand still
Sitting still to catch my breath

The way you talk to me
Gets harsh and harsh

It's getting old now
If this is going to make you feel better
Just shoot me

It's not what I expected
What I wanted from you was

a motherly love
But the reality is

so easy to go wrong
It's worse than a drama

Your line in it "You're worthless, b*****d child"
I hope you don't mean it
You're just unstable and mentally ill
That's why you said it
I want to believe it that way
If this is what you wanted, shoot me

Each bullet getting lodged in my heart
It hurts really bad, but those words of pain fell on deaf ears
Vicious words hurt like bullets

© 2018 송지석 / Ji-Suk

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Reviews

Riddhi

It was so heartbreaking..I can understand how bad you must be feeling to hear such things from your mother...I want to write same poem on my father...I can understand what it means growing up in a family which is not actually a family..I can also never understand what a family means because my case is also similar to you...But you are lucky that to day you have your children and a fiancee who love you so much..Forget about your mother and father and start loving your this family consisting of your children and fiancee because they are those who truly love you and don't let your past affect your beautiful present..I know how much injured your soul may be because I am also in somewhat similar situation...Keep on writing because it always helps you to pour down your emotions and bad memories in your writing...

Posted 6 Years Ago

6 Years Ago

Thank you very much! You shoudl write a poem about your father!

6 Years Ago

I will may be someday...

Derekv

Powerful imagery. Such abuse, especially from someone that you should be able to love and trust, is heartbreaking. I'm glad you can find solace in writing. In my experience, writing is very cathartic for the soul.

I hope you find peace, and I wish you the best.

-Derekv

Posted 6 Years Ago

6 Years Ago

THank you very much! I’m glad. It does help writing about the abuse i siffered. Out of all the phy.. read more

Chris Shaw

I can not add anything further to what Annette and Dee have already expressed. It is no consolation to you, the hurt that you feel because of your mother's abuse, but she is ill. That is no way making excuses, but saying to you it may help you to understand why she is the way she is. From our conversation the other day, you have much to look forward to and certainly you deserve some happiness.

Chris

Posted 6 Years Ago

6 Years Ago

Thank you very much! I’ll try living my life opposite of what my mother did.

Annette Pisano-Higley

As Dee so beautifully says below, to suffer at the hands of one’s own mother is the ultimate abuse. My heart breaks for you too my friend. Your words are powerful, raw, painful, as though you are speaking to your mother in this poem. I want to say gently to you that she is ill and incapable of giving you love and care. She can’t even take care of herself. That does not make your pain any less, but it may help you to understand and someday forgive. You are wonderful, loving and deserving of so much more than she is capable or competent to give you. You are a child but you are strong, smart, insightful and so talented. You have a bright future ahead of you.I would be proud to have a son like you. Please focus on good things- things that make you happy. Keep going to your therapy sessions. Be very good and caring to yourself Ji-Suk, and keep writing! Xo

Posted 6 Years Ago

6 Years Ago

Thank you very much! I’m glad for you nice words! I wished I had a real mother!

6 Years Ago

Yes I wish you had too. I’ve found that sometimes in life, we have to mother our own selves to mak.. read more

Onlyme

Heartbreaking, hearing the words that cut like a knife from a mother who gave birth to you. Make you feel so rejected, ashamed and hated. It really is herself she hates not you, not she can not find forgives got her own flaws. so easier to attack another who is an easy victim cause they want them to simply love them, but they can not even like themself first and moremost. So they can not give you the love you crave and need you did nothing wrong it is them with issues of their own needing sorted first and then they better hopefully in future towards you,and if not, you tried to love, care and help them ,you did your best.