To Father

It is a pain of the child whom you murdered

Hate yourself

In the maze without an end…

Why do you still breathe?

The picture of writhing truth beneath the wreckage is the most profound of all

Out of loneliness, hatred, envy, anxiety, "inexpression blossomed in nothingness is the heaviest of all 

It hides a horrible misery, this laughing blue sky that seemed absurd 

Not being burdened by the crime would not take away from the fact that it has been committed.
Being outside in the world must be awful because of the misery 

In the maze without an end…You drown in your mistakes

In the maze without an end…Why do you still breathe?

Sorrow made you

In the bottom of the dark sea

Sorrow made you

Keep on atoning…And die

Sorrow made you

In the bottom of the dark sea

Sorrow made you

A lonely parade that never knew love

Sorrow made you

Come pay for your filthiness
Please die... Before I die

This pain doesn't reach you

Don't sleep near me

Are you still alive？

(A short poem I wrote about my biological father. He's serving a life sentence after the rape and murder of a young girl. On the basis of good behavior, he got released and is still walking in this world. In memory of the poor girl who was only 9 years old)

Reviews

[Riddhi]

That was really an emotional piece...You know my father forcefully aborted the baby in my mom's womb just because he didn't wanted a girl and that baby was a girl..He always hated me also because he wanted a boy and I was a girl..He never accepted me because of that..But there are no proofs against him and that's why he is not getting punishment of my sister's murder..I can understand the way you feel but you need not worry about that person..He is just biologically related to you...Even I myself always say that the only relation I have with my father is that I am biologically related to him and nothing else..Anyway , that poor little girl , what happened with her was totally wrong..You need not curse yourself , the person who has done such a heinous crime that person should curse himself...
Take care..

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Thank you very much. I often feel guilty because I feel like I have to pay for his crime. I sometimes wished it was me instead of that innocent girl.

[Riddhi]

Don't think that way..What happened you just can't change it..And stop blaming yourself the one who is at fault is the person who did it and he should feel ashamed of his deed , not you...

[Ariana Omnomnom]

It's very unfortunate what happened to the poor girl, simply breaks my heart. This is a very emotionally charged piece. Having a very unstable relationship with my father my whole life I can understand the resentment in your heart towards your biological father. It must haunt you to be related, it certainly would for me. That's a big truth to be aware of but here you are surviving and having come to terms with it. It's good for the mind and soul to be aware of burdens such as these but not let them bother you and overcome you. Even if you can't be a peace with the fact that it has happened yet you having expressed your emotions in your own way just shows that you're one step closer to being at peace with it. My sorrows go to her family and I hope they don't suffer forever with the pain and loss.

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Thank you very much. I often feel guilty because I feel like I have to pay for his crime. I sometimes wished it was me instead of that innocent girl.

[Ariana Omnomnom]

I often feel that way about things that happen to innocent people and animals. Recently a baby bunny drowned in my back yard and I was hurting all day about it and eventually I ended up crying. There was nothing I could have done at that point to fix it but it was so upsetting that I had wished it was me instead.

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

I guess it happens to the best of people

[Ariana Omnomnom]

Yes, unfortunately.

[Chris Shaw]

The unspeakable thing he did is not your fault, you should not carry his burden and yet sadly the relatives of people who have committed heinous crimes, do just that. I also felt numb reading your account of what happened and your raw emotions and hatred for your biological father really penetrated my being. I have never hated anyone so that emotion is a complete stranger to me. You told me earlier some very happy news, and I hope that this will help you to find a little peace and something to look forward to.

Chris

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Thank you very much. I often feel guilty because I feel like I have to pay for his crime.

[Chris Shaw]

You should never pay for his crimes.

[¿]

Reading this made me mum actually....makes me realise there's more to be know bout the world for me....It's more delicate matter that it's showcased....thanks for sharing with us Ji Suk!

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Thank you very much!

[¿]

You're heartedly welcome!😊

[Onlyme]

This is deep, passionate, raw and very gritty. Kicks you in the teeth. You are a hero for speaking out for the girl who sadly is gone for good. But never to be forgotten. The evil humans do on earth. Really are unspeakable at times. But you have spoken out. Loud to be heard. What your biological father did.

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Thank you. I never really met up with the family of the girl although I still feel guilty about it.

[Onlyme]

You should not feel guilty it is far from your fault this happened. You where simply born to someone like that. That is all. You are a kind, gentle good person. Nothing like him at all. It also prove you care deeply about others. With what you wrote above. You care to deeply. To be cruel or evil towards others.

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Thanks very much! The murder happened when I was a child

[Onlyme]

I gather that. Listen you live your life for you. And stop dwelling on your father badness. He has to deal with that issue for himself. His own badness.

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Thank you c: