Family Life

When I look back at it, I always think that my mom was under SO much stress, more than I will ever understand. Not that it excuses her beating me up so badly that she actually once stopped the beat down and put ice on my legs. I only remember the beat down and the ice, but apparently, when my mom apologized to me, in all my wisdom as a 5-year-old, told her that I already forgave her. 

Her life was hard. Her father was an alcoholic layabout who lost his wealth during the Korean War. He slapped my mother around for sport, and once beat her severely for not giving him the money she earned tutoring students.  Guess how he found out. My grandmother discovered her stash and ratted on her. My mother was a deeply ambitious girl who couldn't abide her reduced circumstances and her dim future. She wanted to go to school and accomplish something. Her parents refused to pay for her grade school education. So she put herself through school, including Ewha University, the brass ring of Korean young womanhood.

My father punished my mother in a similar fashion - made her kneel in the corner and "repent" (ban-sung) which he beat the crap out of us. Apparently it was her bad mothering that drove him insane enough to beat his sons and daughter.

He had always gave illogical reasoning behind why I deserved a beating and no food.

Despite the myriad of physical abuse my parents meted out, I have to say the verbal abuse was actually more painful. To be called worthless and lacking on a daily basis destroyed something in me.

Reviews

[Riddhi]

I can understand that Ji suk..Actually , my father is nothing different..His verbal abuse hurts me so much..And though my mother doesn't abuses me but I never had what is called a family..I can understand how it feels because i am in a similar situation today and right now..Sometimes you feel that death is better than such life..You are brave that you can tell everything here..I don't know when I will become that brave..I am a daughter to a father who never accepted me , To a mother for whom I am the cause of her slavery...Slavery to live with a demon like my father..
You are really brave..I hope that someday I will become also brave like you to tell about my life..
Keep on writing..

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Thank you very much. I hope I can give some hope for people to get these kind of things off of their chest.

[Riddhi]

You are lucky Ji suk that it was your past but it is my present..And yes this gives hope to people like me...Keep on writing..

[Locke Redwyne (night sy..]

This was very heartfelt and your grammar is very good. I agree that verbal abuse is worse than physical abuse and I wish for the best for you.

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Thank you very much. My emotional scars haven't healed

[Donna]

Very sad story! Abuse is hereditary, i hope you will stop the abuse when you have kids! Its just like an alcoholic, it gets passed from generation to generation, until one stops it.

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

I will end it and so has my eldest brother

[Donna]

That is wonderful to hear!

[Akash gaikwad]

Thank you for sharing this story. I am left with no words i feel deeply sad about it.

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Thank you. I dealt with it every day