The Price of Being Young

I'm suffocated 

Now I wipe my eyes

Locked in a pitch-black darkness 
I feel overwhelmed 

Do this and do that

I meet your standards
Please shut your dirty mouth

I'm on the brink of a cliff

Who will notice me?
I'm protecting myself anywhere

Who I am for myself

I'm precious

Being young is not everything

I know what sorrow is

Nobody in this world

Reaches out to me

After the infection inside me bursts out

I seize an opportunity 

and hang in there

A 23-year-old young man in this country

Pretending to be a grownup 

My reality has become a dream 

In a different way

Every day is stressful, I thought

it's gonna be better if I make money

Grasping my painful heart

I move on saying I'm okay

This is never what I wanted

Breathing is considered 

a proof of survival 

Being young is not everything

I know what sorrow is

Nobody in this world

Reaches out to me

In this dark maze

Be my light

In this world, I am locked

Don't ignore me
I gotta be a man
Grab me

Before I fall down

No way
I don't want it that way

Reviews

[Riddhi]

I can feel what you wanted to say..Actually this poem's title you know it just pulled me here...The title is really nice and the way you repeated that para "Being young....out to me" , it actually worked out for me..It made this whole piece of writing more powerful..I can understand that life is not always good , I do believe that Life is not a bed of roses..But you should believe in yourself and your abilities ...Its not that your entire life will be bad , its just a phase and it will pass out..One of my friend says that when you feel that something wrong is happening with you its not that the world is against rather you yourself are against you..I hope that you will understand what i mean..You know the moment you start doubting your own abilities , you start feeling something bad is happening..There is a famous bangla song quite popular in india named "Ekla chalo" ..It means walk alone..Even if the entire world , is against you , you have to stand by yourself...It is actually true that today youngsters life is not easy..Sometimes its on our proffesional side and sometimes our personal lives..I really wish all the best to you and i hope that everything gets sorted out...
Coming to your poem , I didn't feel that it was as powerful as your poem "Love" was..It didn't actually appealed to me as much as the other poem did..You know somewhere it lacked that power that if it would have had then it would have been a far more powerful poem then it really is..I know that you wrote what your heart felt but you know i felt that the way you used your words , the way you carved out the entire piece wasn't that good..At one point , i started feeling that i am not reading a poem rather i am reading an essay or a monologue..I feel that you need to improve your writing style and you know you should start using your words , your lines and the entire way in much better poem..I really feel that if you will keep this points in your mind then you can become a great writer and the most important thing is you are having the ability and the potential to become a good writer..
I hope that you will take my feedback in a positive way and next time i will see a more good piece of writing of yours..
Keep on writing..
Take care..
Riddhi

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Thank you very much. I will try to improve. It's kind of hard writing in Korean first and then translating it because of different sayings and stuff

[Riddhi]

I can understand that because even for me , english is not my first language or mother tongue..I will be glad to see you improve all your weaknesses in next writing...

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Here's my next writing!
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Korean/2035559/

[¿]

At every stage of life everything isn't everything I guess...as we always face something lacking...sometimes owns, or love, or money anything's absence...

Here speaking out to the world about the Young life and it's sometimes miserable condition is emotion filled...it reaches somewhere in the heart...even it speaks of many youngsters like you suffering from such dilemma and holding questions like you...
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here Ji Suk😊

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Thank you very much! i am glad you liked it!

[¿]

You're always welcomed!

[sette]

still a long way to go for you young man so continue to face life as it is

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Yep, a very long life

[Onlyme]

I truly felt your emotions, your words, your soul speak to me. Living in a different country is really hard. And learning different ways. And the normal for you in your own country. Is not the same in another country. Truly passionate. heartbreaking and deeply profound. Moving. Put a tear in my eyes. Look forward to reading more from you.

Eventually with time. You do fit in and get used to that new country you are in. Keep faith. And know you are not alone. As others do feel your pain.

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Thank you very much! I lived in South Korea all my life so I am use to all of the cultural stuff and respecting those with a higher statues than me.

[Onlyme]

No one is better than anyone. We all come into this world and die the same way. It is just what we do differently inbetween those moments in time, that makes us all different. You are a great person. Remember that. And you shall shine forever. And be wonderful.

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

They're my elders lol So unless I want to get in trouble, I have to use the right honorific

[Onlyme]

I understand. lol

[Chris Shaw]

Living in a different country, which has a completely different culture must be tough going. I haven't done it. I admire people who do. It sounds as though things have worked out tougher than you expected, and money while it can help is never the solution to things like loneliness. Yes you are precious, each one of us is, never lose sight of that. Somehow you have to reach out and you have to put a lot of effort into that. It doesn't just happen. You have expressed your feelings and situation well here.

Chris

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Thank you very much! I lived in South Korea all my life so I am use to all of the cultural stuff and respecting those with a higher statues than me.

[Chris Shaw]

I misunderstood, it sounded as though you were not in the country of your origin. Finding your place in society can be tough wherever you are. It needs a lot of effort and hard work.

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Yep but I can manage somehow. I've discovered great friends!

[Chris Shaw]

Friends will make all the difference. Good luck.