Internet Cafe

Internet Cafe was my safe place from your daily tirade of verbal abuse

Behind the lit screen was my safe place from your tirade of physical abuse

My emotional and physical wounds could heal while I hid away from your sadistic side of you that no one else knew

No one knew that side of yours, yet you showed it to us, innocent children.

Yet now you try to be a mother to us after what you put us through. 

I know who my real father is, some drunk cousin of yours that you had a one night stand

Sometimes I wish that you had decided to abort me instead of putting me through the Hell you put

I could hide away from your husband's fondling of me and I felt free by the flashing images of the Internet

Instead of taking the beating for us, mother, you allowed that man to come into your home and abuse you 
However, I WON'T make the same naive thought, so what if you were being abused? 
You should have taken us out of that house the first moment he had struck you. 

You're not a victim. 
It's in poor taste to act like a victim when you have blood on your hands.

You think I didn't forget you murdered my older sister, Jae-Hwa? 
You act like I was too young, but I remember you and father violently beating her until her eyes became stone cold. 

Then you tossed her like trash in a hole, I remember where you buried her. 

It's funny, father, you went from being abused to being the abuser to us?
Don't you know the terrible pain you felt as a child from your parents' abuse, why did you put us through it when you know it would hurt?

Why, why, why did you inflict the same pain on us when you fully know what it's like to be treated that way?

You know your hands stabbing me will get hurt too? 

People consider the Internet as a prison, but it felt like Heaven to me

It took me away from my daily struggle and made me forget everything for only awhile 

It made me forget you, mother and father. 

It's funny how I still refer you to mother and father because you do not deserve that title.

You're dead to me and I won't let you define me. 

Internet Cafe was my antidote while you were a poison that tried to manipulate me. 

Reviews

[peter Duggan]

Hi Ji. thank you for sharing these words with us. You have made us know how lucky we are having good families to live with. I felt your sadness so strongly in your heartbreaking words, and I loved reading it even though it broke my heart and made me weep. A great job you done with your writing, my friend. I am glad that you shared these words with me. I wish you all the best for the future...Peter

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Thabks. I’m glad you could feel the emotion when you read it

[Jackie]

Sounds incredibly tense. Sorry to jear you had to go through such ateocious events as this. On the other hand was very bold and courageous of you to put this out on the open. I give tou kudos and i am ALWAYS down fpr reading about some one elses pain amd troubles. Keep ypur head up man.lifecan be tough. Certainly can not say i relate but if you ever need some one to talk to please do hit me up. And also. If your interested xould also check out my work as well.

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Thank you very much! I’m glad you enjoyed reading it!

[Locke Redwyne (night sy..]

This is so sad and heartbreaking. Very well written

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Thanks for your kind comment!

[DoormanDan]

Man, I'm actually dumbstruck by this. This piece has so much emotional drive in it that I could feel every line in my heart. Even though English isn't your first language, your ability to describe these events makes that fact so easy to look past. You're a very strong person and writer, my friend, I mean it. I hope you're doing well right now, and continue to do well in the future. Stay strong, and keep on writing. :)

[송지석 / Ji-Suk]

Thank you very much for you comment! I am glad you liked the emotion in it!