Remember

A Poem by 송지석 / Ji-Suk

The beautiful moments when we were together

The dazzling day when we first met over cake and tea

I’ll remember everything and won’t forget the good and bad memories

I’ll hold your hands again like this baby

We probably went too fast

But at least we're happy together despite the terrible fights we've had

Bring only good memories, that’s what I hope

I hope we can forget the times I tore your heart over our colliding harsh words

It was beautiful to meet you in full bloom

You’re so precious to me, I cannot find any flaw in you

Don’t forget me, on a fine day

The memories of having picnics under the cherry blossoms
The smell of fresh bakeries as we happily chatted away

These memories are precious to me and I will forever cherish them.

The beautiful moments we shared
At least we have pictures that can make us relive the fun times we had

Soon I'll take your hand and walk down the aisles in a beautiful wedding gown

I can't wait and I keep praying every day for you

© 2018 송지석 / Ji-Suk

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Featured Review

Davidgeo

There's a lot of redundancy in this poem.

For example... line 3 - You don't need to include "won't forget the good and bad..." because you already stated "i'll remember everything" directly before that.

Line 6 -- you can omit "we've had" and it would sound smoother

Line 7 doesn't really make sense as you've worded it in context. Perhaps add line break or a more sensible transition.

Line 10, is poorly worded on the back half... try "I cannont find THE flaw in you" instead of "any"

Line 12, you should probably omit "the" between 'under' and 'cherry blossoms'

Line 14, I would split in two by omitting "and" and making "I will forever cherish them" an entirely separate line

Line 16 is far too wordy, again I would omit "and" and make "I will cherish them" its own line

The final stanza suffers from the same problems as I mentioned above.

You could be a talented poet if you didn't get all butt hurt and threatening when people try and critique you.

Your greatest flaw is your extreme sensitivity to criticism that ends up leading to threats of "reporting" anyone who doesn't fawn over your writing. Have you ever heard of a book called "The Gulag Archipelago"? It's about attitudes like yours... the kind that always feels the need to silence and banish any voice not inline with your own.

I'm actually starting to pity you now because I don't think you are even aware of it.