From the time I was young, we were poor Dirty condoms and beer bottles full of urine laid around the filthy home Our parents cared little about us and focused on their own sinful lives
Unlike a lot of people here, we didn't eat out much We ate from dirty cracked plates and spoons that lost their shine If my brother or parents wasn't at home I would eat instant noodles alone with the TV on
But soon I got really tired of instant noodles so I yelled at my brother for better food And he reluctantly took out the hidden emergency money he stored in his wallet he would carry with pride An order of black bean noodles and I was really happy about it But brother didn't eat for some reason which due to my naiveness, I never noticed it
Brother said he didn't like black bean noodles but I never saw through his pitiful lie
That's how we lived growing up scrounging around for scraps and money That's how we regret and how tears fall That's how we live It really hurts but we would smile again and laugh, forgetting about our poverty
When I was in the first year of middle school it was time to open our lunch boxes and eat Some rich kid yelled at me because I had lousy side dishes that was made with love from my brother I was ashamed and started to cry out of embarrassment Then that jerk started to tease me I couldn't take it so I punched him in the face My brother came to school since our parents did not care enough to visit us He was called in
This will never happen again, he had begged
With his head down to that jerk's mother, my brother begged
That's how we lived growing up scrounging around for scraps and money
That's how we regret and how tears fall
That's how we live
It really hurts but we would smile again and laugh, forgetting about our poverty
Even without parental figures we finally made it We finally were able to live somewhat happy once my brother landed a job and got a new home for us It wasn't big but we were happy It wasn't a home filled with beer bottles and Tears came from brother's eyes but it was tears of happiness
I loved you, Even though I never once told you I love you
That's how we lived growing up scrounging around for scraps and money
That's how we regret and how tears fall
That's how we live
It really hurts but we would smile again and laugh, forgetting about our poverty
i was about to cry while reading this story i know it is a true story, you told me about it. i never thought a brother's love could be so unconditional, you are really lucky to have him in your life, most often when i hear about siblings it is all about competition and rivalry, seldom do i come across the unconditional love emanating between siblings. thank you for writing this story and stay strong, you have survived the worst beautifully.
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
Thank yvery much! I guess our terrible experience has made us stronger
Documentation
4/16/18
11:20 AM U.S. CST
"My Review of Brother's Poor Love by Ji-Suk, A Fellow Writer's Café Author"
by PB Jacobs (www.writerscafe.org)
Ji-Suk
Well, I could go into a big speal about you inviting me to review your work, and how exasperated I am to have a look at someone with a way different culture than mine, but I won't, as I'm not sure how you will relate to this. I'm a just be yourself kind of reviewer, and I type pretty much what I'm thinking from the top of my head, just so you are aware of this...
Your work is emotional and I'm picking up on a moderate amount of sorrow. You seem to reflect the light, neutral, and not-so-light aspects of the experience you are writing about, as in all of the experience. That's neat, as something tells me that perhaps you're really not trying to do this. Neat, if you ask me, if this is the case, as yeah, I gotta confess, it's a culture thing that I'm noticing.
I do have a question and that is do you listen to a lot of music? I'm seeing a kind of halo of musical expression peeking out in your work, but I'm not sure. I just thought I'd bring this up...
Boy, your parents seem really detached from what is supposed to be their adult role, in your work, but that's just it. Is your work all about the dark and dreary side of your upbringing, or is your latent personality coming out, without you even being aware of this? Yeah, I have a thought peeking into my review, and my mind is busy trying to figure a few thing's out, as you can see. It's just me and my review style. It happens like this in a lot of my reviews, Ji-Suk.
One thing I notice about your work is the people in your piece got physical, instead of screwing each other over in writing. Getting all big, bad, and physical, isn't something I'm into, but getting all big and bad in writing is. So you might want to ask yourself if you're on the verge of being ticked off, but you're not, as what will be will be. Sure, I might be rambling a bit, but my rambling might just give you a few ideas, so it can't be all that bad, right, Ji-Suk?
So your parents, in this piece loved their beer, huh? Here, here! Just to be sure your bases are covered, and the Hen's, etc. don't get in an uproar, you might want to change your work to the Mature setting. Some people...
Well, I see a tad bit of loyalty being expressed in your work, and you might want to expand on this, as something tell's me you might be able to make more to write about in your piece. Yeah, I gotta leave my rambling off, here, but it's cool to read and review your work, as it's not everyday work I review, and that's awesome, Ji-Suk!
Thank's for asking to be reviewed! Many thank's!
PB Jacobs
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
Thank you very much, I am glad for your critique. I do often listen to music because it's my escape
This is a beautiful piece. I loved how the last paragraph was repeated to symbolise hope for the future. This must have been a difficult period for you. I wish you all the best and may things get better :)
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
Thank you very much! I am glad you liked the last part!
I'm not sure what to say, just that your writing evokes very deep emotions in me
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
Hi there!
Can you take minutes to read my half-finished chapter 1 of my first book (Jay and .. read moreHi there!
Can you take minutes to read my half-finished chapter 1 of my first book (Jay and the mysterious creature at Dylan Primary School)