Shameless

Everyone wishes childhood with happiness and guilt.

I just wish to not be frustrated in this horrible world.

We scrambled for the only spot 

Unable to mourn for a life that has not been selected.

I am still here today.

I am shamelessly alive and still attached to the past.

My mother and my father fell in love.

Twenty-five years have passed.

In this dark world how many people shave shown me love?

How many people did I hurt along the way and never apologized to them?

I cannot answer that.

Someone who'd wish to be chosen to live happily and beautifully

Might have been able to see the radiant light and 

But I'm still searching for it still

I go back and forth between wanting to die, and wanting to live

Inhaling my first breath

After thinking about dying, but stopping myself
I wonder if I can see the light in this world