Bliss

A poem which I wrote while sitting in a shoe store to shelter myself from the rain.

The writer looks out the window

At the brooding clouds above

The raindrops drumming overhead

Her mind clear of all thoughts

Reminiscence came naturally

A slow haze taking over her mind

And although it did not faze her

It did catch her unawares

She smiled indulgently as she regarded

The droplets skimming down the pane

Tracing patterns in the fog before

Coming to an end at the sill

She watched while the sunlight

Filtered through the beads of water

That seemed so fragile, so sharp

Yet so full of light

She felt a strange sense of satisfaction

A certain twisted sort of calmness

She couldn't help but wonder

Was this what it felt like to be happy?

Author's Note

First post! What do you think of it? Leave a comment to tell me where I can improve my writing!

Reviews

[JamesTleBourn]

Well, Mr./Ms./Mrs. Dreamer, if I hadn't read the note above the poem, I would've assumed it was some fanciful replication of an English country side :). I liked how you started each paragraph with an action, and used the rest of the 4 lines to explain it. I like the constant sense to it.

On another note of the actual content- you did a good job not only in explaining the imagery, but also the emotions connected to it. You did that flawlessly and I felt like i was in your head for a few moment, which I believe is every writers goal.

There is a serenity with observing nature that is hard to explain, but you said in perfectly in the unsaid lines.

Good write!

James

[a.dreaming.poet]

Hey James, I'm glad you liked it! Your comment was quite the encouragement for a beginner like me

[JamesTleBourn]

Thank you, I am honored to be your first review!

[Ava Laveau 🥀]

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem. It was easy to read and understand due to your use of concrete imagery. Because of the way it is formatted, it is the main reason why it's so easy to read I think and although its a nice-length poem, I read through and understood the heartfelt emotions you poured into this poem. Thank you for sharing.

[maria ( rose)]

The Best Group To Get Reviews***********..led me here

Observing, Collecting, Reflection, combines a nature of thoughts.
You set the tone that helps the audience create an image in their mind perfectly!
Well Done and ''Welcome''

[Gabby]

Wow, your imagery in this poem is really great. I really love how you used the rain droplets and fog to represent her mood before she found enlightenment (the light). It gives the reader a sense of hope that even after the rain and fog, clarity and light is what brings true happiness. Great poem!

[a.dreaming.poet]

Thank you! I quite like your interpretation of it. I'm glad that you found it enjoyable!

read moreThank you! I quite like your interpretation of it. I'm glad that you found it enjoyable!

Dreamer