The Room

I like to practice a style of writing I call Room writing, (this story just so happens to be called "The Room") It puts the reader right in the middle of a conversation or event with no background.

THE ROOM

[If our world sometimes seems to be a bit off, it is because we built its axis with our sin.]

Jacob asks, “Where do you think earth will go from here.” With a pause, Bradley replied. “Wherever our people take it.” The room lay silent for a short while before the silence was broke with a loud and violent gust of wind yelling outside through the whipping trees. Jacob got out of his seat still uneased by the conversation him and his brother Bradley are having, Jacob sauntered over to the sill and looked out the window up into the sky. The sky was if it were night with the sun hiding behind a mask of harrowing black clouds that overwhelmed the sky for miles. Flashes shimmered from every direction in the sky as if it were a football stadium on Super Bowl Sunday for as far as the eyes could see. Echoing whips of wind filled the room and streets with a disconcerting grip. Jacob stared out the window for a few moments, looked down at his hands and said. “What if this is it.” Still looking at his hands, he turns around to look up at Bradley on the cusp of crying his eyes filling with water. Looking up from his hands to his brother Bradley ask again but this time trembling, and utters out the words again “What if this is it Bradley.” Bradley just as nervous as Jacob he beings to say something “Everything happ..” WHIP WHIP WHOOSH. The wind interrupts Bradley with three strong gust blasting the side of the house and rattling the windows. Bradly remains silent for a few seconds after that and starts quietly mumbling to himself “Maybe we deserve it” so Jacob could not hear him. Jacob slides down the sill with his back against the wall, now looking down past his feet at the floor. “We deserve this don’t we?” Bradley gets up out of his chair and walks over to a mantel hanging cover above an old fireplace, that at one point use to fill this room with light. Silhouettes of picture frames hidden by the darkness of the room used as a decorative feature to the bleak room. “I don’t know what to think Jacob,” he says. Jacob now softly weeping with his hands in his face, tears began overflowing through the side of his palms and between the cracks of his fingers.“I wish we had more time,” Jacob said. “Do you think we can fix this?” Jacob said pleading to his brother “Do you think we will have another chance at doing this right?” “I don’t know Jacob, I don’t know.” Why now Bradley, why right now, we’ve been here for years…and it happens now?” Jacob asked his brother not expecting an answer. “I think we knew, I think we’ve all known, our whole lives we’ve known. We just didn’t want to believe it, and now it’s too late,” Bradley faintly said almost as if he was talking to himself. “It’s not fair Bradley,” wailed Jacob jerking his head up to the ceiling eyes puffy with red circles of irritation around his eye sockets. Snot dripping from his nose, his mouth half open and his face covered in the water from his tears up against his hands that were covering his face.  “Why now!” Jacob howls into the dark somber room. “Why now you son of a b***h!” Jacob beings uncontrollably sobbing putting his face back into his palms with his knees pressed up against the back of his hands as a brace sitting in a fetal position. Bradley still standing at the mantel near the fireplace he turns around to see Jacob sitting fetal violently sobbing under the sill of the window. “Jacob.. Jacob it’s going to be…” The window filled with brightness instantaneously so luminous the entire room lit up with a fiery bright yellow hue shinning so bright it was blinding. “BRADLEY!!!!” Jacob shriek.

Author's Note

I'm pretty sure there is absolutely no structure to this and i'm sure there are big grammar issues. I am sorry for that, I have no professional guidance or even collegiate exp, I just love writing, absolutely love it. Please critique as best as possible whether it be harsh or good I like the criticism.

Reviews

[Raeven]

I actually like this a lot. The first line caught my attention insanely fast. The rest of the story is enjoyable, especially because it leaves the blanks to be filled in by the reader. I can create this scene in my mind, and think of a backstory of what's happening and I love that. Great job!

[K-O-I]

Thanks a bunch man, much appreciated.

[Raylene]

I would work on form it's all together like a big box space it out but the story is great.

[K-O-I]

Thanks man ill deff try to figure out a better way to format it.

[Raylene]

Anytime :)