Young Summers

inspired by What Makes Us Girls by Lana Del Rey

Remember how we used to party up all night,

Running down the street in the dull gray light.

Drinking with the boys, laughing over senseless things;

Gave us their love and their football rings.

I said 'We're on top of the world girls,'

I said 'We ain't ever getting down girls.'

Smoking in the back alleys all over town.

Broke into the mall at night, never made a sound.

We got in trouble having too much fun,

The world was our target, we were the gun.

Summers came and summers went,

In the end we were all too far spent.

Now Jimmy's in the jail yard, Sarah's gone and died,

Danny's got three kids, I'm alone and all but cried.

Don't know when everybody left;

Lives spinning 'round like an endless cleft.

They were the only friends I ever had,

Guess I saw it all but the dark and the bad.

Reviews

[Crazy Cat Man]

this is a damn good poem and im glad to have finally made the time to read it. U described the perfect senseless paradise. everyone is letting their inhibitions go, the problem is that some of us don't know how to stop so some of us develop real problems when the partying is done. Some of us do drugs, or over drink alcohol. A lot of my peers from High School are burnt out @ 30 years old. its like they reached the peak of their life @ 14 years old, then its all down hill from there. which is tragic. Great piece in capturing those days in summer when i was young, when everyone was carefree :)

[Kohleen]

thanx for the review :D loved it!

[Crazy Cat Man]

no problem.....im just too buzy to constantly read everyone's poems :) so it takes awhile for me to respond....maybe even weeks :/

[Kohleen]

ha i know what you mean, there are a lot of writings on this site!

[Mauricio Montoya]

such a sad piece that could fit many in main stream america, you've done good in bringing this together.
Excellent write.

[forevermore1218]

this is so good. I love the imagery you gave and made me think about my future with my friendships. This poem was so good and I salute you for it.

well done mate :)
-forevermore1218

[Mr. Lou]

Great poem, Ms. Kohleen! A theme well too known by many. A word of advice, the last line should be adjusted. The emotion ran well, till the end of the last line. Go out with a philosophical bang!

[Persephone]

I love this poem- It is troubling how things can change so much in a small amount of time I love the line: "The world was our target, we were the gun." - great metaphor - awesome job!

[Beck Louise]

Great piece, written really well :)

[eglantine]

turn this into a song :) not too sure if im fond of the last line...

[pumpkin head]

Very nicely written

[Ryan Zeller]

The first half came off as a little too much like a pop song for my liking, but the dark turn in the second half was interesting.

[Freedom's Child]

I love the way the poem starts with reminiscing but not with a sad connotation to it and then you start with the problems everyone has today. I do miss how easy everything was when I was younger. Great work!