Just A Try

The anxiety rushed in for the first time

The thought of committing such a heinous act

Telling his father that he wanted to drop out of college

Visualizing his father’s reaction

“You have brought disgrace to our family”

“Get out of my house”

“Never come back again”

Even the thought of the smoke coming from his father’s ears made him

Fear being in the same vicinity

As the man who had once held him in his arms

And called him son

But he knew what he had to do

He could no longer handle the pressure

The expectations

He didn’t even know if he wanted to be a physician

Asking himself

“Why did I choose this path?”

“Is this really my life mission?”

“Should I chase a different ambition”

“Shouldn’t I be happy?”

So he knocks on his father’s door

Ready to wage war

And 3 knocks on the door

His father mumbled, “Arthur, what do you need?”

“Father I need”

“Father I need”

“I just wanted to tell you that mother said your food has been prepared”

Disappointed he walked away

Unable to tell his father

Unable to face him

He was enraged with his weakness

Collapsing to his knees

On his bedroom floor

And sees a small white pill container

Oxycodone

He knows what will happen if he takes it

But he wants relief from the pain

That has overcome his veins

Just one

Just a try