Chapter 13: Home

    The cars engine comes to halt as I step on the brakes in front of the Crippen house, causing me to crack my head on the steering wheel with great force. Going back in the seat I put my hand against my bandages  where the wheel had connected with. Bringing my hand back I find blood on the tips of my fingers, the wheel must have cut the wound open again. After she finds out I'm ok Rose gets out of the car and walks up to the house almost as if she is examining it.
    I step out onto the rocky driveway listening to the sound of rocks pivot and move under my feet. Many windows of the house have been broken by kids throwing rocks through them or just by a terrible storm. The house was breaking down the years of no care even when my parents lived in it has taken it's toll on it. Looking through the empty window frames most of the furniture I left is still there. The door is fragile, I open it carefully and walk in the Rose behind me. Staying close by Rose doesn't seem to want to be left in this house alone.
    "Johnathan." The voice was Rose but the sound was distant and seemed far away.
    "Yes, Rose?" She stopped and looked at me with confusion.
    "I didn't say anything." I look away rubbing my eyes, and keep walking through the main hall, it led to most rooms in the downstairs part of the house. I pass the cellar door, a cold chill runs up my spine but I shake it off and keep moving. As we get to the end of the hall I see the stairs and the doorway to the kitchen.
    Some things were kept in storage under the stairs, I open the small doorway and shuffle through some stuff to find a lantern that I knew should be here. I shift through the pile of stuff some more and see a photo, the picture is of Susan and I. We were in the backyard, she was just a little girl. "I remember this quite a bit, it was a nice day pretty warm outside." I grab the lantern that sat in the back of the storage place, handing it to Rose she seemed to be waiting for the rest of the story.
    "She was a little girl at the time I believe she was four, this was a year before..." I stopped the sound of my name again it was Rose, but it was distant. I look at her again as I did before and she looks annoyed from me not continuing. "B-before the abuse." I walk by her and into the kitchen. "They stopped for awhile once Susan was born, but when she turned five years old it all started again." I look at the old fridge and stove, I open the stove a crack and the screeching noise echos through the house. I cringe the sound seems to get under my skin and I tense up.
    "I'm sorry." Rose says with real sadness in her voice.
    "Look I don't need you here for pity, to be honest you wont leave and I'm not going to make you." I look and her and smile, she smiles back as I look away. "I wouldn't be able to do this alone." The sound of a door opening and then closing, it seems so close and far away at the same time. "What is that?" I walk out into the hallway once again and look down the hallway all the way to the door. The little girl is standing at the door, looking down the hallway at me. Her face cant be seen due to shadows covering it, I walk down as her face gets clearer every step.
    "JOHNATHAN." The sound crashes through my head, I put my hand to my ears as I fall to knees. Again the sound cracks through and I fall to the ground, I pull my hands away as blood in coming from my ears. My eyes have closed and as I open them up I see the little girls face. The face isn't the girl from my grandmothers house but Susan, I sit up quickly and scoot back to Rose who doesn't seem to see her.
    "W-why is s-she here?" I say as Susan stays in place, Rose helps me up as I run to the stairs.
    "What are you talking about." Rose is completely baffled as she touches my ear which is bleeding. I stop in my track once I get up the stair and run down the hallway, Rose stops behind me confused at whats going on. I look up and see Susan in front of me looking straight at me but somehow right through me. I pull out my revolver from my jacket and turn pointing it at Rose. "What the hell are you doing?" She says in fear backing up.
I close my eyes feeling Susan right behind my the cold air she gives up causes me to shiver. "I need to make a point." Rose seems frozen in place unable to move.
"What point, that you're going completely insane." I take a deep breath and stare at Rose.
I hear the sound of my sisters voice in my ear. "Johnny" I pull the trigger as Rose falls to the ground the bullet hitting her in the head. The blood spills on the ground, I walk to her lifeless body and look back at Susan. I put the gun to my head and close my eyes tight, I pull the trigger as I fall to the ground. The figure of Susan is the last thing I see before the darkness consumes my vision.

Reviews

[Arianna]

if that is how you end this book god f*****g dahm wesley hollifield i will walk into school tomorow morning and i will punch you in your face. you better have a good excuse for this UNEXCUSABLE character MURDER! not even character killing MURDER! COLD BLOODED MURDER OF A MAIN CHARACTER!
okay getting on with it: goods. you showed more wierdness. and how creepy the feelings were but the setting, come on i know you can do much better, ive seen it. the house, was a little vauge and the part where he smashed his head on the steering wheel. well that part i just didnt understand well. overall this chapter was good. but it made me angry. but i assume thats what you want to do envoke emotion from your reader and if that is what your aiming to do then well played sir. anyway. pretty much the only things to work on was the details in this chapter. somethings are way too detailed and some things are not enough. but i really liked it overall as a chapter and what you did to portray the mood and susan. :) novelists.elite.info.
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[Julie Beth]

O.O...........WHY WOULD YOU KILL OFF ROSE?!?!?!??!?!?! ROSE WAS RIGHT HE WAS GOING INSANE THIS MAN NEEDS SOME SERIOUS HELP BECAUSE THAT WASN'T OKAY NOW HE'S JUST GOING TO BE EVEN MORE MESSED UP THAN BEFORE BECAUSED NOT ONLY DID HE LOSE EVERY SINGLE FAMILY MEMBER HE HAD, BUT HE MURDERED THE ONLY FRIEND HE HAD!!!!!! NOW HE IS A LONELY, HOMELESS, UNGRATEFUL, MURDERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Characters these days, you can't control them anymore. One second you have a nice little plan for them and the next THEY'RRE MURDERSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!.
So aside from the fact that I am completely outraged the you just killed off Rose, it was...I can't say a good chapter YOU KILLED OFF ROSE...a good chapter from a writing perspective. I hope you write more, and I hope Johnathan dies a painful and slow death
Have a nice day


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[Shep]

Did you get tired of writing is that why it end so soon? Like I said I don't care for bedtime stories. I perfer novels. Go back and fix the grammer, misspelled words and smooth out the wrinkles. Then rethink the ending and devise a much longer novel. I bet if you took all the chapters here it would equal to or less than ten pages. A readers digest version.