Early in the morning I woke up with such high hopes for them to only be taken down in the afternoon by a letter. It was eight pm and I was at a bar drinking the sadness away, the letter was from my parents telling me about the disappearance of my sister Susan. I didn't understand why they cared, our parents were abusive both of them and that's why I left the house at eighteen. I had talked to my sister through letters for almost over five years. About three months before the letter of her disappearance, the letters that she used to send to me stopped. So I think that I did know the truth I just didn't want to except it, but the letter I got confirmed my thoughts. I had fallen in deep depression, gotten drunk every night and the bright future I had withered away along with my own sanity. I started having terrible dreams or her and the house.
After five more years my mother died from unknown causes and my father who gave up hope killed himself in his study. I've been given the Crippen house and I have made it back to Charleston for a visit to the city I left behind long ago. People seem to be different scared and frightened but why? The sun was shining and there wasn't a cloud in the sky, but no children were playing no one outside of there homes. After ten years this is what my town looked like a ghost town.
Had to read just the beginning, I couldn't wait. It was a good beginning. I don't know what it is about today’s writers wanting to write novels in first person. I wonder is it the lack of schooling and is the English teachers fault? In any case if want to write a first person novel start of correctly by giving a introduction to who "I" is or the readers will assume it is poorly written or it is Bio of the author.
That lone will help give us an indication what we are reading. Personally I prefer Third person writing because does not limit the writer how he tells a story, giving every character life on a page instead of the individual named “I”. Still I will read and stay objective even though it is not my cup of tea. If you are looking for an example I have started my own first person novel called Troubles to give me the choice to write bio form and give a third person point of view to give my characters more definitions. All my other novels are in third person.
A very strong start to the story. You create mystery and a lot of questions needed to be answered. I like the description. Create a view of a sad town waiting for it final breath. Thank you for the excellent chapter.
Coyote
This is a really good start. Some people say it's not good to start off with background info on the characters, but i think it's a good idea. One this i would suggest to you is to go back and give this a quick glance over. I think there are a few places that could use some commas. Other than that this is a really good start, it makes the reader want to read on. :)
.novelists.elite.info.
.display. Julie Beth
.memberID. 014
.name. Julie
.username. polarjulie32
.novels. Unexpected
.status. Early Reader, Early Writer
.join date. 07-15-11
im excited :) but so sad...there must be more... :(
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.display. .ana.008.
.memberID. 008
.name. Arianna
.username. nerdypenguin2427
.novels. Right Side Up, The Bigger Sister, Fear
.status. Novelist, Role Model
.join date. 04-03-2011
I think when you said "Our parents were abusive both of them" I think you meant to say " Our parents were abusive to both of us." Other than that this was a great piece of work.
Hello my name is Wesley, i am a writer and i will always be a writer its my favorite thing to do because life can be boring at times but i can create a world where i can do anything be anybody that's .. more..