Squatting

It's been a while I thought I'd see if there's anyone still out there

My sparrow sister and I
Pressed against each other
(As we would be to lovers one day)
Under a blue commercial tarp
In the skeleton of a home
Unfit for ghosts, yet we haunt
Before the glass or wires
let alone locks
or doors.

We had not yet known chill
Until the unfairly frigid night
(in f*****g Florida) we marveled
As we shuddered against
the floor, or maybe luck
the neighbors screaming obscenities
Unknown to have witnesses, but we doubted
any concern as dogs barked and howled
and frightfully sounded like they were at our door.

I breathed in the soft soap of your hair
and in my love for you held still.
As though between the dogs the neighbors
the passing traffic the sudden winter
It would be my stirring to wake you.

The next morning
we did not so much as wake
but blink into the dawn.
We stood and forced dead muscles
to support our weight,
Smelling like each other
(and a commercial tarp)
We looked at the citrus street
Pushed stolen oranges past our cracked lips
And decided it was not yet time for home.

Reviews

[zig]

this is an awesome piece amanda, just awesome, one of your best.

you how how i feel about voice in poetry, how i feel that its the most important element in expression, your voice in this is so strong, this is so you. i dont know what else to say, plus with your story-tellers way, this is just powerful writing. i am so impressed. good to see your words again.

zig

[Doctor JKC]

Sometimes we are the ghosts.

This is a nice piece of narrative
spruced by dynamic poetic wording.

I love being left wondering what the
whole story is and being teased by a
snippet.

Excellent!
Dr.Callaghan

p.s. I echo LJW, too.

[Emily B]

I confess. Some days I just follow writers around and see what they're reading. I just trust their judgment. This was well worth the visit. Wonderful to find it.

[LJW]

This is a diamond in a sea of cubic zirconia.

Authentic, full of reality, original, and memorable.

Excellent, just excellent. I figured if you were a friend of Ziggy's, your writing had to be good. :-)

[Zatoichi]

this was quite the nostalgic mind trip for me- mostly good with only a little PTSD.

Thank you.

[The Viking]

It's so good to see some of your words up again. Your writing has such a vibrant heart. The story lead me to visualize two young runaway sisters hiding out in an abandoned house somewhere in rural florida, nothing left but each other. It's painful, but fun I guess at the same time. They both seem to know their way back home, but after dawn's light chased away the frightening sounds and chilling cold throughout the night, their dilapidated refuge seemed more interesting. This is definitely one of many prominent memories of the narrator's childhood. Beautifully woven, as always.

[Robert Luna]

This seemed like such a deeply important story lying among these wonderful words and intense imagery. I got a feel of two young girls being runaways awaking to a new day of possibilities. As if they were seeing the world for the very first time with the amazement of dawn's new prospective. I am so glad to read your words once again. You are a true artist.

Great Job!!!!!!!