Lifeless

A Story by Knock_knock

They say murder is worse than killing in self defense. But murderers are often mentally unaware of the killing they are about to commit. People who kill in self defense are fully conscious of what they are doing in that moment of time. I'd know.

I cradled my baby in one arm, holding a gun in the other, leaning against the black painted wall behind me. I heard the footsteps creeping slowly towards the door of me and my wive's bedroom. My baby was crying now as all my limbs were shaking uncontrollably. "It's okay, mommies not feeling well, that's all" I whispered with a croaky voice, maybe not to my cradled baby, but to me, to reassure myself that what I was doing was the right thing to do.

The banging on the door grew louder and her pain wreaking screams became more frequent. I felt the tight collar around my neck as I breathed in and out quickly. "Please Melissa, just stop, please !" I shouted to the other side of the room. Her reply came in the form of a scream.

Melissa opened the door. At least I thought it was her but I couldn't see her in those lifeless zombie eyes. I don't think she saw me either. The Melissa I knew was long gone. "Melissa... Please stop" I said, tightening my grip on my baby and the pistol in my right hand. Tears rolled off my cheeks like water falling slowly off an almost dead tree in Winter.

She was lifeless. Nothing I said could have stopped her. I raised the gun weakly to shoulder level as she walked slowly towards me, swaying back and forth like a puppet. This awful disease had taken over her completely. "Please..." I whimpered out of my stiff lips. She saw the gun pointed at her head, but it made no difference to her movement.

"I love you" I whispered before firing several shots blindly at her. With every impact I thought of the times we had shared together before she became this lifeless zombie. Her body collapsed slowly to the floor. I had moved on from crying tears, I was crying shards of glass. I had never felt so alone in my life at that moment I heard her already lifeless body fall to the ground.

Her blood spotted and smudged on the wall, like a work of art on a canvas, the most beautiful masterpiece. I remember the words she said to me at our wedding that year. "I'd take a bullet for you my love".

Alzheimer's disease is death before death, and I'm terrified of it.