Into Orbit

Okay I know the last stanza is pretty bad, but feedback would be much appreciated! Thanks!!!

If I cared then I don't care now

and don't ask me how because you didn't

seem to care then why would you care now

If I showed you the world I want to leave orbit now

don't ask me with what because I can figure this one out

seems like you wanted another way out and I know just what

your about

All I want is to leave this world behind

go into orbit and see what else there is to

find, who knows where all the places I could

go just got to get into my rocket and then surely

I will fly as high as the stars and brighter than life

I will surely glow

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

Sometimes reality is so distasteful, we would rather fly to another universe just to escape it all. Boarding a personal rocket to fly to the stars is such a wonderful thought when life is just too difficult to handle. The raw honest emotion in this is well expressed. Lydi**

[K-mo]

Awe Lydia! I do always love hearing your views on my work and it always makes me feel good:) Thanks for the review!!

[Tai Ryens]

Your poem makes me think of a line from Prozac Nation (written by Elizabeth Wurtzel): "I don't care that I don't care, but I do care maybe a little bit about not caring about not caring."
What makes me shudder about this poem is that it could be speaking of depression: especially the grim suggestion that perhaps you'd shine brighter in death than you would in life . . .
(or recovery, but I've a quite pessimistic intellect)

[K-mo]

Thank you so much Tai and you nailed it on the head about the meaning. I am appreciate your thoughts of this piece:)

[Sami Khalil]

Please make sure who will take care of your wealth and poetic treasure ( must have a will ) before you leave this world into the universe...Just kidding...
A wonderful poem...:)..............

[K-mo]

Hahaha that is too funny! Thanks Sami!

[Sami Khalil]

Glad you like it...You are welcome...:)..............