Soul Eater

Why do you always have to be so near

Just the thought of you causes me fear

I try to hide all emotions, because you are

waiting and seeking for the moment I cave

to snatch my soul and make me your slave

But not this time, this is the end of the line

But not this time, you will have to wait until another

time to go along with this crime 

You scour the ground for all the lost pieces 

lost pieces of souls that were once whole

but were ripped out and left to burn in the 

coal, you search frantic for the one you hold 

dear but you won't find it anywhere near here

Why do you always have to be so near

Just the thought of you causes me fear

I try to hide all emotions, because you are

waiting and seeking for the moment I cave

to snatch my soul and make me your slave

But not this time, this is the end of the line

But not this time, you will have to wait until

another time to along with this crime

I wont give up easy and I know neither will you

It's true what they say, that once you give a part 

of yourself away it will start to decay if it is not safely 

locked away, soul eater that's what you do

Soul eater I am watching you, watching every move you 

move, soul eater don't even try, you might as well slink on by

Reviews

[XxKooperxX]

I loved the first verse. Very catchy and it pulls me in. :)

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

I know, it's a poem. And a good one too. But, it feels like a song.. feels like it needs a bridge with "soul eater" in there.. somewhere. Driving home the main perception of the voice in our collective heads. Does that make any sense?

[K-mo]

yeah I can see where your coming from on that

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T. Serrat]

Aha! You've made the bridge more noticeable (if I remember how it was before). I think you have a typo, "watching every move you
move" ... doesn't make sense as written, I think. What do you think about trying to redo the bridge so that the title features prominently? It would probably be a major undertaking but it might be worth the effort as it would clean up the logical flow of the message(s). Just a thought.. it's great as is though.

[K-mo]

yeah I could play around with it a little and see what works better, thanks!

[K-mo]

Hope you like, don't be afraid to leave a comment