Pilot

dearest,
 you're such a culprit
Having lies,
  Having fins    
swimming bold in my tale of hearts
with more flavor than a Spanish fly
I had set down Winter for too long,
the air then, set a trap for me.
You're strangle has such a hold that I know my landing is quite too fierce  for this world.You're hold is such a dare
black king, you'll love me to death.

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

"I had set down Winter for too long,
the air then, set a trap for me. "
love the imagery that inspires in me .. makes me think of the longing i feel at the end of winter ... suffocating waiting for a chance to open the widows ..the more i wait .. the longer it seems to take ... hm! the black king ....i think i am envious ;)
E.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Strong words...brave and fresh in your vulnerability. I like the imagery in this one a lot; you blend different ideas so effortlessly.

2nd to last line: "You're" should be "Your", and perhaps the flow would be better as "...that I know my landing is too fierce" --maybe omit the "quite".

Overall, this one was really strong, my friend, and I am so glad to be back reading your work! You have such poise in your pen.

[kublakhan27]

Nice to see you again bud :) I can see you have not lost your edge with time, but I like it that way. We both tend to write from dark places, where seduction is not something to be trusted, at least that's how you often sound to me. Your "dearest" appears to have smelled blood in the water...it's time to reclaim Winter and set your own trap, imprisoning the shark beneath the ice. Being loved to death is an image not without its appeal, but it comes back to the seduction factor...how deeply do you want to be seduced? And how high does the pilot want to fly in proportion to how hard (s)he is willing to fall? You always tickle my imagination with your visceral episodes my friend.

[MichaelsLyric.com]

To me, this piece is like a vibrant, abstract painting. I can feel the feeling of deceit. The last two lines are packed with so much meaning. I think this is talking about life, but I'm not totally understanding the "black king" reference. I am guessing you are referring to death, but there seems to be more to it. Nice drop. Thank you for writing.