Some days

Some days i just want to cry
Some days i just want to die
Some days there is no sun
Only the darkness encasing my soul
Some days the flowers don't bloom
Some days death is whispering
So the thoughts swirl in my head
Some days just never seem to end
Till you make them end
Then the ending is bitter sweet
Now these day are over
Some days end without another beginning
So farewell goodbye
The whispering is louder for it is my time
The sun has burst
You might cry
But if i stay it will be much much worse
Let fire free my soul
Spread my ashes under the sun
Stay here stay here for your days will go on
Some days you will remember me
Some days you will feel sad
But the sun will shine bright for you even when I'm gone
Just remember i was a spark in the flame just a ash in the sand
To be forgotten
till someday someday we will meet under the sun

Author's Note

I apologize for miss spellings please give me feedback I'm still working on this poem and really want feedback

Reviews

[Vian]

This is absolutely beautiful. I feel like you just took the words out of my mouth and added a dash of eloquence and grace to create this powerful poem. It impacted me. Know that I will go on in my life and this poem has become a part of me and I 'll come back one day when I'm really down and you'll have made a difference.
Thank you for being a writer.

[Kt k]

This review just made my day i cant even say how much this review means to me i have carried this poem a lot thought out my life but never thought it would have that much of a impact since i made it in the 7th grade but all still stands true thank you so much for reviewing you just completely made my day

[Vian]

I learned somewhere that poetry is the simplest and first form of writing, not prose. When we are children we rhyme and sing and speak to meter anything we wish to say. Poetry is the true form of language, as we grow into society we put rules and conventions on to the ideas we want to convey and call it prose. Then after, we assume the next step is to learn poetry. My point is we spend years trying to learn and perfect what was already there. Don't think that the poem you wrote at a younger age is any less of a poem than one you wrote after being aged and 'learned'. Hmmm...I think I'm paraphrasing Northrop Frye.
Keep on writing.

[Kt k]

That is very wisely said thank you for all your advice keep on writing as we'll your work amazes me :)

[Pryde Foltz]

Just remember i was a spark in the flame just a ash in the sand
To be forgotten
till someday someday we will meet under the sun

Very nice ending. I think really your just need to invest in some commas to help the reader know when to pause.

[Kt k]

Thanks for the suggestion i will be shure to apply commas into the poem glad to hear that you like the ending :)

[PearlPoet]

I felt the same way many times in my life... You captured the feelings well and it is very easy for the reader to relate! Keep on writing :)

[Kt k]

Thanks for taking time out to read booth my poems it means a lot to me im glad to hear you can relate to the poem. :)

[Kt k]

Realized that i worded that wrong I'm not glad that you felt like that but glad that you understand what I'm talking about just felt like i should clear that up ok thanks again for your feedback

[Sami Khalil]

The highs and lows of daily life captures in your poetic forte...Bravo

[Kt k]

Thank you for reading my poem and commenting it means a lot i know its not that good but i have a lot to learn since i am only 15 so thank you for taking time out to read it :)

[Sami Khalil]

Practice makes perfect. You have a lifetime of that...Bravo