Chapter Eighteen: Friends?

Chapter Eighteen of Hold Your Peace :)

    I decided to not be hung up on Ryan anymore. Obviously, that was more easily said than done, but I made it work. Every day, I hung out with Kimmy and Laurel, and helped Kimmy pick out clothes for her unborn baby. Word around town was that Ryan and Rachel were getting married this weekend. If I just made it through, I'm sure'd I'd move on soon after.

    I sat in my living room, watching Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. That movie made me happy, with how deep the friendships were. Maybe one day, I'd have the courage to be friends with Ryan.

    During one of my favorite scenes, I heard a sudden knocking at the door. I didn't care who it was, I hated everyone at the moment.

    To my surprise, it was Rachel.

    "What are you doing here?" I rested on the door.

    "I have something for you." she smiled. "Can I come in?"

    "Sure." I rolled my eyes and allowed her entry. We sat on my couch, and she appeard uneasy.

    "Just so you know," she sighed. "I'm not totally heartless. I know that you and Ryan loved each other very much, and you probably still do."

    Rachel really did have a heart behind her devil horns.

    "Well," she continued. "You two won't ever break your bond, I know. Since you aren't together anymore, I'm sure you still want to see him happy, even if that means marrying me, right?"

    "I guess." I shrugged.

    "I don't know if this is really rude, or really thoughtful, but, I want you to have this." she handed me a card. On the inside was a wedding invitation.

    "You're inviting me to your wedding?" I raised an eyebrow and studied the lavender card.

    "Yes, I am." she nodded.

    Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I'd be invited to Rachel's wedding, and especially to see her marry Ryan.

    "It's time to put the past behind us." she went on. "I'm tired of hating you, especially now. It puts more stress on all this wedding planning."

    "Thanks, I guess." I couldn't process how thoughtful she was being. "I'll be sure to get you two a good wedding gift."

    "Truce?" she offered her hand. I shook it, sighing with relief. I may not have what I wanted more than anything, but I knew I was doing the right thing. There was one more thing I had to do.

 

 

    "I think we should try being friends."

    Ryan gazed forward, thinking it over.

    "It's better than not speaking to each other at all, I suppose." he shrugged with defeat. 

    "It might be painful at first, but we can't just be apart." I placed my hand on his knee. "I'll always love you, Ryan."

    "You know I'll always love you." he gave me a sweet smile. It was beautiful.

    "Are you excited about getting married?" I dared to ask.

    "Sure," he shrugged. "It should be a fun party. Rachel told me she invited you."

    "She did." I confirmed. "If you're not comfortable with my presence, I won't go."

    "No," he protested. "Please, come. It would mean a lot."

    "I will, then." I agreed.

    At this moment, I wanted nothing more than to run away with him. I loved him so much, it literally hurt. When I was younger, I didn't believe that sort of love existed. Ryan proved my theory wrong.

    "I should go. Kimmy's last appointment is this afternoon." I saved myself from the pain of being next to him.

    He stood up and offered his hand.

    "Friends?" he grinned.

    "Friends." I shook his hand and hugged him.

    I had to leave quickly before I ended up refusing to let go.

 

 

    "So, you talked to Ryan?" Laurel handed me a water bottle. Three of us were sitting in my room, talking. Mark was out working.

    "I did." I swallowed hard to fight the tears. "I don't think that I can do this, you guys. Being friends isn't going to make things any easier for me."

    "Well, what are you going to do?" Kimmy sat back on her hands and gazed at her on-growing stomach. "You can't keep going back and forth."

    "I know." the air seemed to chill my skin, so I zipped my sweater and crossed my arms for comfort. "I think we can just go to the wedding, and I'll move back to San Diego. I need to keep my distance."

    "Erin, you're just going to hide from him?" Laurel gave me a look. "That's not right. At least try. All you've been doing is hiding from your feelings."

    "I know." I bowed my head, losing my battle with the arriving tears. I let a few fall before lifting my head. "I'm scared."

    "I know, Erin." Kimmy rubbed my back. "It's normal. He's your first love, after all."

    "I hate how much this hurts." I allowed my eyes to send a hurricane of teardrops down my gloomy face. "No one understands how much I love Ryan, Kimmy. I love him more than anything."

    "You probably love him as much as I love Mark." she sat back up.

    "So, maybe you understand." I forced a smile.

    "Erin, you're stronger than this." Laurel took my hand. "We're going to that wedding. Just hold your head high, and be happy that this is the life he's chosen."

    "I don't know." I shied away from the idea.

    "You can handle it, Erin." Kimmy encouraged. "I know you can."

    "Okay, we'll try." I agreed.

    This would have to be my final goodbye to Ryan Drake.

 

 

 

   

Author's Note

The end is really close. Keep reading? :) Thanks to those of you that actually read this:)

Reviews

[Kelly M.]

READING ON IN SUSPENSE!!! I wish they didn't have to be just friends. :(

[hannajade]

another good chapter!1