Chapter Six: Truth Be Told

Chapter Six of Hold Your Peace

    Unfortunately, life did go on. Six months after that horrible night, I’d found my own apartment just down the street from Mark and Kimmy. I sent the box of pictures to my Mom’s house, and asked her to place it in the attic, somewhere hidden.

    One night, I got a call, and I recognized that it was the number of Ryan’s old house. When I had answered, it wasn’t Ryan, it was Laurel. She apologized for everything that had happened. We ended up talking for hours about all of our love experiences. Every one of mine traced back to Ryan. The next few weeks, I found myself speaking with Laurel often. We had become good friends.

    A year and a half has passed since that night. Never would I truly be over Ryan, but my life was finally sewing itself back together nicely. I knew it had to be for the best, or we would have reconciled by now. Still, sometimes, I called Kimmy, sobbing my eyes out. She only sat and listened until I was finished crying before beginning to console me. I liked that about her.

    Kimmy was trying to get pregnant. She and Mark didn’t want children until they were at least later in their twenties, but they had changed their minds a little while ago. Her doctor has told her she is able to have children, but it just hasn’t happened for her yet. She’s told me that she wants a daughter, and to name her Elizabeth, since that’s my middle name. I felt honored, and promised her I’d name my daughter Allison, after her middle name. We never failed to have coffee together each Saturday morning.

    One afternoon, I lied in my bed, waiting for a call from Laurel. We hadn’t talked in nearly two weeks, and I was beginning to miss talking to her. I liked being friends with Laurel. We’d never even mentioned Ryan’s name. I left that subject for my sister. Laurel had become so much more than just Ryan's cousin. She was truly a good friend of mine.

    Finally, she called.

    "Hey," I answered happily. "What's up?"

    "Erin, there's something you need to know." she responded frantically. "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you this sooner."

    "Tell me what?" I sat up in my bed.

    "It's Rachel," she took a deep breath. "There's something I've kept from you. Don't ask why, it's too hard to explain. She...loves Ryan. She wants him more than anything."

    "Laurel, I already knew that." I chuckled. "Is that it?"

    "No," she replied with regret. "Erin, it's her fault. That letter you sent? You sent it here. She was here, badgering me with questions, and she found it and read it. She asked if she could write Ryan, so I gave her his address. She sent you that letter, saying he was with another woman, not Ryan."

    My eyes bulged like a cartoon character's. I couldn't even process what she had just told me. Ryan had never sent that letter?

    "Rachel," I began thinking things over. "She...the letter? It was from her? Why didn't you tell me?"

    "I didn't know until a few weeks ago." she swore. Somehow, I didn't trust her. "She told me not to tell you, and I agreed. I don't know why I agreed, I'm so stupid! Ryan moved back here months ago, he doesn't even live in Venice. Erin, I'm so sorry I kept this from you."

    "Laurel," I took a deep breath, contemplating what to say next. "I'm coming to North Carolina. Don't tell anyone."

    "Oh, no, Erin, don't." she begged. "Believe me, it's not a good choice."

    "Why not? Are you hiding something else from me?" I quickly began giving her the third degree. She should've never even considered keeping this secret from me.

    "Erin," her voice croaked. "Please, don't come here."

    "Why?" I demanded. "Laurel, what are you not telling me?"

    "Just don't do it." she pleaded.

    "When I get there, let's go for lunch, okay?" I smirked to myself. Serves her right.

    "Erin," she whispered cautiously.

    "Who are you talking to?" I heard a voice in the background.

    Ryan?

    "No one, Ryan," she groaned. "Just a friend. Hang on one second."

    "Tell him I said hi," I joked.

    "Okay," she agreed. Before I could stop her, she said, "Ryan, Erin Sanders says hi."

    "That's not funny," Ryan laughed a little louder than necessary.

    "I'm serious!" she giggled lightly. "You want to talk to her?"
    "NO!" I practically shouted, being sure to keep my voice down so that Ryan wouldn't hear me.

    "Oh, she has to go," Laurel sighed.

    "Bye." I gritted my teeth.

    "Don't come here," she whispered.

 

~    ~    ~

    "That b***h!" Kimmy shrieked, throwing a pillow across the room. "Rachel has been screwing with you since you guys were, what, sophomores? It's time to grow up. I can't believe her!"

    "I can," I shrugged. "She's always been like this. I'm just horrified. She'll get what's coming to her one day."

    "You and Ryan could have been together." she buried her face in her hands. "I want to smack that w***e in her face."

    "Don't we all," I laughed casually. "I'm going back to North Carolina."

    "You are?" Kimmy crossed her arms. "Mark and I were talking about moving back there. We don't really like life here. You can come, and live with us, if you'd like."

    "Thanks, Kim," I hugged her.

    We didn't last too much longer in San Diego. All of our things were easily packed, and Kimmy rented us an apartment in her old apartment building. We were all set. My main problem was fear. I was going back to North Carolina to attemp to reconcile with Ryan. That very well could go wrong. He could have another woman in his life, or he could simply have fallen out of love with me. I just had to think positive thoughts.

    "Have you texted Laurel yet?" Kimmy asked me as we boarded the plane to North Carolina.

    "No, she's still freaking out because I'm coming."

    "I wonder why?" Kimmy looked up, as if to search her brain for explanations. "Something's got to be going on."

    "She kept the whole Rachel situation from me. I won't be shocked if there's something else she's hiding." I rolled my eyes, praying something wasn't being hidden from me.

   

    The flight to North Carolina seemed to take so much longer than I had previously anticipated. Kimmy, Mark, and I had remained silent the whole way. I had music on, and was reading The Notebook, desperate for some inspiration. My life just couldn’t seem to match the happiness of Allie and Noah.

    The wheels of the plane finally greeted the freeway after what seemed like centuries of flying across the country. We immediately hailed a taxi to take us to our new home, and I picked up my cell phone to call Laurel.

    “Laurel!” I squealed excitedly.

    “Hey,” she laughed. “I’m glad to hear you’re still in San Diego.”

    “Wrong.” I giggled.

    “What?” she gasped.

    “I’m here! I’m about a block away from your house.” I pulled the phone away from my ear to direct the taxi driver. “Before you drop of these two, could you drop me off down the street?”

The taxi driver nodded, and I happily returned to my phone call.

    “Erin.” Laurel whined sadly. “You’ve made such a big mistake.”

    “My mistake would have been not having the guts to come here in the first place.” I corrected her. “I’ll be fine, Laurel. I’ll be there in a few minutes, so don’t go anywhere.”

    “Fine.” she growled.

    A few minutes later, we arrived at the house. Memories of my time here flooded back into my mind. Ryan and I had realized we were in love just outside of this very house. So much had happened here. Now, I was here, visiting someone else.

    I banged my fist against the door before I could allow myself to change my mind. The taxi had already driven away, so I had to do this, anyways. Finally, Laurel answered.

    This girl was adorable. She was only five foot three, two inches shorter than me. Her hair was a dirty blonde, only coming to her shoulders, and her bright green eyes twinkled like evening stars.

    “Erin?” she narrowed her eyes.

    “Hey, Laurel,” I waved.

    She sighed, took a step towards me, and gave me a tight hug.

   “Let’s go out for coffee and talk.” she suggested. “I have something else to tell you.”

    I felt the need for alcohol. Something inside of me was telling me to be seriously afraid of what Laurel was going to have to inform me of. We picked a table in the far right corner, awkwardly sipping on our cappuccinos.

    “Laurel, stop procrastinating.” I slammed my cup down on the coaster. “What’s going on?”

    “Well,” she began. “When Ryan moved back here, Rachel was still in town. She convinced him to have dinner with her. They ended up dating. I don’t know what happened to him. He’d never even told me he loved her, but they’re…getting…married.”

    That was it. The end of all hope.

    “This is why you didn’t want me to come?” I couldn’t speak any louder than a shrill, weak whisper.

    “I’m sorry.” she tightened her eyes shut and hung her head low.

    “Why didn’t you tell me?” I demanded. “You could have saved me all this trouble!”

    I felt horrible. She wasn’t the one I was truly upset with. I couldn’t honestly be upset with anyone. This whole situation was my own fault. Of course, I mostly blamed Rachel, but it was truly my fault.

    “Erin, I just couldn’t.” she buried her face in her hands. “Ryan’s been talking about you for years. I know how in love you two were. I couldn’t be the one to break this to you, but I guess I had no choice.”

    “It’s okay.” I breathed slowly, and sipped my cappuccino once more. Then, I realized, my hands were trembling as if I’d seen a ghost. Ryan was it for me. He wasn’t meant to be anyone else’s. 

    “I think I’d better go.”

    “I’m so sorry.” she stood up to say goodbye.

    “Call me later. We’ll hang out. I’m stuck living here, for now.” I hugged her lazily before dashing out of the coffee shop.

    I ran as fast as my legs would carry me all the way home. I didn’t know where my room was, nor did I care. All I wanted was to be alone, so I dashed into the first room I saw. Kimmy was sitting in there, on a bed, reading.

    “Erin,” she threw her book across the room. “What’s wrong?”

    I attempted to explain, sobbing madly.

    “Ryan…Rachel…he’s…marrying…Rachel!” I cried, my chest hurting from the pain in my heart.

    “Ryan’s marrying Rachel?” she repeated, placing a hand on my back.

    “Y…ye…yes.” I curled up into a ball on her bed.

    “Sweetie,” she sympathized, wrapping her arms around me. 

   “Everything’s going to be okay, I promise. I know it hurts now, but in the end, everything will work out the way it’s meant to.”

    “I want Ryan,” I cried. “I don’t care what’s meant to be, I want to be with Ryan. He’s everything to me.”

    “Erin.” she sighed. “I’m not trying to be a downer, but you and Ryan parted ways a long time ago. I know it’s tough that he’s marrying someone else, but it’s also a wake-up call. You need to move on with your life, even if it means letting go of Ryan.”

    “Kimmy, you don’t understand.” I sat up. “You never lost Mark. You don’t know what it’s like to be with Ryan. He made me feel loved more than anyone ever could. I’ve spent the last year and a half trying to move on, but all I want is to be with him.”

    “What you want is companionship.” she tried to correct.

    “Kimmy,” I angrily got up from her bed. “You’re not being supportive. I don’t care what you think I want, or need. I know what I want, and I know what I need. I’m a twenty-four year old woman. I don’t need my older sister telling me what I need anymore.”

    “Stop acting like a child, then.” she crossed her arms.

    “You know what? I’m out of here.” I stormed out of her room, slamming the door shut behind me.

　

　

Author's Note

So, the huge plot of the story pretty much starts here. Erin, Ryan, Rachel, Kimmy, and Laurel all become huge characters, all having

Reviews

[Kelly M.]

P.S. I didn't mean awful like this book is awful because it's not!!! :D

[Kelly M.]

This is awful! My heart ached when I found out he's marrying Rachel-- I knew something like that would happen. And now she had a fight with Kimmy! What will she do??