Chapter Five: Heartaches and Coffee Breaks

The fifth chapter of Hold Your Peace

    He loved me. Ryan really, truly loved me. I loved him, too. What was really the problem? Why did I trust Rachel over Ryan? She’s the last person I’d ever expect to trust, especially over Ryan Drake. When we touched down in San Diego, we moved back into Mom’s house. At least I’d always have a meal waiting for me.

    Kimmy unpacked her suitcase, leaving me alone. The first box I got to was labeled “Crap That Erin Doesn’t Need”. It must have been a box that Kimmy packed. I opened it to find a pile of picture frames. The one atop the huge mound of photos was Ryan and I. We were standing on the beach, hugging, and appearing to be laughing. I remembered the exact day we took this, and how happy we were.

    The entire box was full of photos of us. There were birthday parties, our graduation, holidays, anniversaries, and just various times we’d been together. Through the years, we’d taken a gazillion photos, and I wasn’t even exaggerating that much.

    God, I missed him. I missed the way only he could make me laugh until it hurt. I missed his smile, and his laughter. I missed his warm, comforting arms. I missed how loved I felt when I was with him. Ryan truly was my soul mate. Maybe love just wasn’t meant to last forever, at least for me. I had nothing but faith for everyone else, especially Kimmy and Mark.

    “Erin, what’s wrong?” Kimmy asked.

    Until she’d spoken to me, I hadn’t even noticed the fast coming tears. I quickly dried my eyes and showed her the box of pictures.

    “This is all happening so fast. It seems like just yesterday, my life was perfect!” I cried. Kimmy hugged me for a long moment.

    “Erin, you’re going to get through this. It’s his fault.” she stroked my hair.

    “That’s just it, Kim.” I tightened my eyes. “I’m not so sure he did.”

    “What do you mean?” she asked.

   “Read this letter.” I handed her the letter I’d read on the plane. “It explains everything.”

    “So, his cousin really was from Italy.” she chuckled, skimming the heartbreaking note. 

    “This is great! Just call him and make amends.”

    “I don’t know if he’ll take me back.” I sighed in denial. “If I were him, I’d leave me out in the cold.”

    “You know Ryan loves you.” she squeezed my shoulder. “I’m sure he’ll forgive you, Erin. Just take a risk, and give him a chance.”

    “I’ll call him tomorrow.” I agreed. “I just need some time to think for right now.”

    “Good girl,” she laughed and hugged me. “Do you want to come to the movies with Mark and I tonight? We’re going to see an action movie, instead of a chick flick. It should take your mind off things.”

    “No, thanks, I’m just going to go to bed.” I declined.

   “Erin, you can’t just sit around here. Come on, we’ll pay for everything!” she shook me with pleading eyes. “Please? For me?”

    “Fine.” I sighed. “Just let me take a shower.”

    “You’re the best.” she hugged me and left me alone.

    I grabbed towels, and folded them, lying them on the counter of the bathroom. Once I was in the shower, I let the water fall down my back, cleansing me. Never had I felt so disgusting. My tears fell in the shower, but I didn’t notice. They matched the falling water around me.

    I dressed in sweatpants and a sweatshirt before going off with my sister and her fiance to the movies. During the movie, I had no focus. I kept picturing the bad guy as Ryan, and the maiden in distress as me. When the movie finally ended, I was relieved. I couldn’t wait to go home and get some sleep.

 

　~    ~    ~

　

    The next afternoon, I followed up on my agreement. Before going out to help my sister pick out her wedding dress, I called Ryan’s house.

    The first ring, I could barely breath.

    The second ring, I felt a sense of hope, and courage.

    The third ring, the ringing stopped.

    “Hello?” a woman answered.

    “Yes? Who is this?” I asked curiously.

    “This is Laurel Drake. If you’re looking for Ryan, the guy who lives here, he’s out. I’m his cousin.” she explained.

    What had I done?

    “Oh, so you’re Laurel?” I laughed nervously.

    “Yes.” she repeated. “May I take a message?”

    “No.” I shook my head, not caring that she couldn’t see me. “I have a question, though.”

    “Yes?”

    “Do you know a woman named Rachel?” I asked. Rachel was so busted.

    “Not really,” Laurel answered. “Ryan took me to dinner the other night, though. I kissed his cheek to thank him for paying for me, and some girl stormed up to us. She said she was telling Erin about this, and that he was busted for cheating. I believe her name was Rachel.”

    “I’m Erin.” I informed her.

    “You’re Erin?” she gasped loudly.

    “Yes.” I confirmed.

    “Oh my gosh,” she squealed. “Ryan has told me so much about you! I wanted to meet you, but when you came back here, he said you broke up with him.”

    “I…thought he was cheating on me.” I explained.

    “Oh, he wasn’t.” she assured me. “He never shuts up about you. I’ve never even seen him glance at another girl!”

    “Really?” I felt a pang of guilt.

    “Seriously!” she laughed.

    “Well, I wanted to make amends with him.” I told her.

    “I’m afraid it’s too late.” she sighed with sorrow.

    “Why?” I raised an eyebrow.

    “He’s moving back to Italy.” she regretfully told me.

    “When? I can make it back before he leaves.” I answered her frantically.

    “I’m afraid he’s already left. He couldn’t bear being here any longer, so he packed up and headed for the airport. I couldn’t stop him, because I live here now. I have no way of going back to Italy anyways.” she explained. “I’m really sorry.”

    “It’s fine.” my voice croaked. “Bye, Laurel.”

    “Bye, Erin.” she sighed.

    I hung up, and curled in my bed and cried. I missed Ryan so much.

There had to be something I could do. All hope couldn’t be lost. I immediately sifted through one of my drawers for a pen, and a notebook.

　

　

Dear Ryan,

    I’m sorry. I called your house the other day, and Laurel answered. She explained everything. I know that I should’ve trusted you. Rachel told me that you and Laurel were making out one night, and I believed her. I know I should’ve just believed you.

You promised me we’d survive anything, and I do still believe that. I believe in us. I’m not going to write you an entire essay, just please forgive me. I messed up, and I understand that. Don’t send me away forever. Take me back?

Love,

Erin

    I sighed and sealed the letter in an envelope before placing it in the mailbox.

　

    Weeks passed, and no response. Eventually, Kimmy’s wedding day came. I tried my best to forget my troubles so that I could enjoy this time with my sister. That didn’t happen, but I at least had fun.

    Once my sister was off on her two week honeymoon, I was completely alone. I’d moved into their apartment, setting things up the way I knew Kimmy would want it. Finally, one day, I received a letter.

    It was from Venice, Italy.

Erin,

    I’m glad you finally believe me. Unfortunately, I’ve found someone else. I won’t tell you who it is, because it will only upset you more. I’ll always care for you, but we have to say goodbye, Erin. It’s only for the best.

    I won’t torture you with pages and pages, so just know this. We had a great relationship, but it was young love. We’ll both move on someday. Thanks for the amazing years, Erin.

From,

Ryan

    My heart was ripped into my a million pieces. I tore up the offensive letter and crumbled down the floor. Every emotion I could possibly feel exploded within me, tearing me apart. He found someone else? Ryan had given up on us. That was my excuse. I was the one that left. He had the right to find someone else. I just couldn’t believe it was true.

    I needed Kimmy. She wouldn’t be back for another four days, leaving me to fend for myself in this lonely world. I wasn’t used to this. For the last six years, I’d had someone by my side. Through thick and thin, he’d always been there.

My life would go on without him, I knew. As much as I didn’t want to believe it, it was completely true.

Author's Note

This chapter is boring. The next one will be a little more exciting, but it's where the rest of the storyline begins. Everything before that has just been like a prologue. Enjoy:)

Reviews

[Kelly M.]

SO NOT BORING!!! It was so good, and so sad. I can't believe he did this to her! I just want to-- I don't know. :P But this is just great, suspenseful and heartbreakingly beautiful!!! I'll read more tomorrow for sure!!! :D

[hannajade]

It was not boring!! Good work!
:):)